Why Not Shoot for Average?
“Shoot for average and fail cheerfully.”
Not the advice I expected from Stanford School of Business lecturer Dan Klein. Apparently, his odd words also unsettled his high-achieving students. But over the course of the semester they—and I, vicariously—learned the wisdom in his advice.
I stumbled across Dan’s words in a podcast called “Think Fast, Talk Smart,” but his insight reminded me of principles from the Old Testament book of Zechariah. Written to the Israelites who’d returned from exile to rebuild God’s temple, the book records instructions and encouragement for Israel and its governor, Zerubbabel. As they faced the enormous task before them, He reminded them, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin” (Zechariah 4:10 NLT).
Personally, I lean toward overachieving, not underachieving. To big accomplishments, not small. This mindset especially manifests itself at the start of every new year. I set big goals and lofty resolutions. And fail almost every time.
My failures made Dan Klein and Zechariah’s advice seem especially appealing as I approached January 1, 2023. This and the age-old adage that insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results. I knew something had to change.
Wise mentor Mary Hunt, in an article called “Foolproof Secrets to Guarantee You’ll Keep Your New Year’s Resolution,” suggests four steps:
Choose one thing to work on.
Take baby steps.
Become accountable
Give yourself positive feedback.
Hunt says the myth of multitasking is exactly that—a myth. “Your brain cannot handle more than one [resolution]. Accept it. Analyze everything you’ve thought about changing and pick the one thing that’s most important to you.”
As I thought and prayed about the different areas of my life, God reminded me I’d often said I wanted to become more consistent in practicing biblical hospitality. My husband and I love having people in our home, but busyness (and probably laziness and selfishness) had pushed this important ministry to the side. We know people need real-life connections and relationships, and this happens best through hospitality.
After I identified the area I wanted to grow in, I applied Hunt’s next bit of advice—Baby Steps. What baby step can I take in the area of hospitality? Easy: Have someone over for dinner. Even easier, someone whom I didn’t feel the need to impress or majorly clean my house for.
I broached the idea to my husband, and we reached out to dear friends we hadn’t seen recently. Hey Cathy, I texted, we’d love to have you and Pete over for dinner next Friday night. Are you available?
At her enthusiastic yes, and with Dan Klein’s advice, Shoot for average ringing in my ears, I planned a simple meal of tacos with all the fixings. Brown some hamburger, chop a few veggies, and grab a tub of guac. I added a carton of my favorite ice cream to the menu, and we were good to go.
The evening went off without a hitch. We ate, laughed, and reconnected. Because I wasn’t swamped with kitchen duties, we had more time together. Cathy shared her concerns about their adult children. David and I talked about our grandchildren. Together we commiserated about the challenges of caring for aging parents. We ended the evening with a sweet time of prayer.
I fell into bed that night with a happy-but-not-exhausted sigh. I’d identified an area I wanted to change and taken a baby step toward the goal. By including my husband, I added the accountability step. Hunt’s fourth step, positive feedback, came from the warm hugs and kind words I received from Cathy and Pete on the way out the door. “Thank you so much for inviting us over. It was lovely. Let’s do it again soon.”
Choose one thing to work on, take baby steps, be accountable, reward with positive feedback.
I gave myself permission to shoot for average, and I didn’t condemn myself for not doing more.
I drifted off to sleep thinking about God’s words to Zechariah, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”
In the months that followed, I continued to apply these principles to my goal of practicing more hospitality. I determined to have lunch with a girlfriend once a month. At the beginning of each month, I asked God to bring to mind the friend I needed to visit with. Some months I lunched with old friends. Other months I invited someone new from church or that I wanted to get to know better.
One month, I realized I’d allowed almost the entire month to pass without inviting anyone. As I prepared to fail cheerfully, I asked a coworker to join me for a spur-of-the-moment lunch on our lunch hour. She said yes, and we had the best time. I got to know her better than I ever would have by exchanging smiles in the halls. When I asked her how I could pray for her, she shared a concern that weighed heavy on her heart.
By year’s end, my baby steps, coupled with the permission I gave myself to shoot for average, resulted in 12 lunches out with friends, eight shared dinners in our home, and a promise to host a small group Bible study twice a month in 2024.
Zechariah was right when he urged those rebuilding the temple not to despise the day of small beginnings. With God’s help and his encouragement, the Israelites raised up a glorious house for the Lord.
We can do the same as we surrender our lives to Him and ask Him to use us. God builds His kingdom through us one small stone, one small step, and one small goal upon another.
And the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.
–Written by Lori Hatcher. Used by permission from the author.
