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Whether you love Tyler Perry or not—whether you think his movies are ridiculous or whether you’ve found some comedic relief from Madea—I have received some major inspiration from his productions, particularly his movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman, starring Shemar Moore and Kimberly Elise.

“Here’s the thing about relationships,” the speaker said as he continued his talk. My husband and I held hands, sitting close together in a large ballroom with hundreds of other couples investing in their marriages. “You’re always moving. I don’t mean physically; I mean that you’re always drifting towards either isolation or oneness with your spouse. There’s no sitting still.”