God Loves Me, but Do I Love Him?

For many years I squirmed whenever people talked about how much they loved God. It was uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure I did.

Sounds heretical, doesn’t it? Especially for a Christian—someone who’d confessed her sin, repented, and vowed to follow God all the days of her life. Isn’t loving God what Christianity’s all about? 

Yet when I compared my feelings toward God to my feelings toward the people I loved, there was a distinct difference.

I thought about the warm, affectionate, and sometimes almost painful intensity of emotion I feel toward my husband and children, and I had to admit that I didn’t feel this type of love toward God.

What was wrong with me? The very thought that I didn’t love God like I loved my husband and children hurt my heart. Jesus said that the first and greatest commandment was to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37 NIV). 

All my soul. All my mind. All my heart.

So I set out to discover what was wrong with my heart. Psalm 139:23–24 provided the perfect prayer model, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

As honestly as I could, I examined myself.

Like most Christians, I felt very grateful toward God. He had called me to Himself and filled my life with good gifts. He’d walked with me through bad, sad, and scary times. Like a drowning woman plucked from a raging sea, gratitude overwhelmed me that He’d saved me from my sins and rescued me from myself. 

But gratitude isn’t love.

I also feared and respected Him. Considering His greatness and majesty, His holiness and power, caused me to tremble in awe. The mighty God of the universe takes notice of us! 

But fear and respect aren’t love, either.

Finally, I knew I wanted to obey and serve Him. Followers of Jesus demonstrate our gratitude toward God by following His commands, and I eagerly embraced this. I wanted to live my life so others would come to know Him, and He would be glorified. 

But a desire to please isn’t love either.

Christians know we demonstrate agape love, the sacrificial, unselfish love God desires, primarily by actions, not feelings. But agape love should include feelings. As with any relationship, if we reduce our love to duty, obligation, or self-sacrificial acts, it can still be cold and joyless. Without the warmth of emotional connection, our service becomes that of a resentful, loveless marriage. 

After taking my spiritual inventory, I talked with God.

“Lord,” I prayed, “the first and greatest commandment you gave us was to love you with all our hearts, souls, and minds. As best I can tell, I love you with my soul and my mind, but I also want to love you with my heart. Show me how.”

Remember your dating years? What made you fall in love with your husband? How did it happen? Most likely, you spent time with the object of your affection. You discovered his fun facts, idiosyncrasies, habits, and preferences. You learned his character and what made him laugh and cry. You might have spent time with his family so you could understand his background and upbringing. As you learned what motivated him and what he was really like, you fell hopelessly in love with him.

We can apply some of these same practices to our relationship with God to help us fall in love with Him.

We can spend time with Him in prayer (speaking and listening).

We can become a student of Him. As we read the Bible, often called God’s Love Letter to the world, we can look for aspects of His character. Every time I found one of His attributes, I wrote it in the flyleaf. I also listed every adjective that described Him. 

Here are just a few the traits I discovered: faithful, patient, kind, loyal, gentle, peaceable, truthful, just, protective, compassionate, zealous, mighty, romantic, tender, creative, artistic, strong, humorous, musical, dynamic, sacrificial, generous, thoughtful, and unselfish.

As we read the Bible, we can discover what makes Him laugh and what makes Him cry.

When we spend time with His family, the church, our brothers and sisters in Christ, we see His family likeness reflected in them.

Ultimately, we learn what motivates Him—love.

Somewhere between Genesis and Revelation (more like Genesis and Exodus), I fell madly in love with God. How can we not when the paper trail of His love stretches endlessly before us?

John 3:16 sealed the deal. Like a bride on her wedding day, my heart swelled and soared in response to the overwhelming evidence of His love toward me (toward us). 

He loves us. He LOVES us. HE LOVES US!

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10).

We realize and experience the truth: “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

If you sense your love growing lukewarm toward God, read the Bible with an eye toward His attributes. Make an extra effort to hang around His house and spend time with His people. Draw near to Him and sense Him drawing near to you in all the beauty of His loveliness. 

You won’t be able to resist Him.

“But if . . . you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart . . .” (Deuteronomy 4:29).

–Written by Lori Hatcher. Used by permission from the author. Click here to connect with Lori.