I cannot lie. I stink at Christmas.
Some years, I don’t even like it.
First, there are the presents. I have friends who intuitively know how to find the perfect gift for everyone they love. I so envy them. I feel such pressure to find just the right gifts that I dread the start of the holiday season.
Then, if I manage to find a decent gift, I feel the pressure to wrap it—just so. It’s not enough to have substance, there must also be presentation.
My children will tell you they always know which packages are from Mom. Each has an extra square of wrapping paper taped to the bottom to cover the place where the paper doesn’t quite meet in the middle.
And those big, sparkly, wire-ribboned bows? I can barely tie my tennis shoes, let alone create something stunning to adorn my packages.
I’m not very good at decorating, either. My friends start scouting for trendy new additions to their décor as soon as Hobby Lobby sets out its Halloween/Christmas display in August. Not me. I postpone it as long as possible unless I can talk one of my artsy daughters into helping me. If I didn’t have grandchildren, I’d skip the Christmas tree altogether.
For years, the angst I felt about all things Christmas stole the joy from my celebration and made me dread it long before the December calendar page flipped.
Maybe you’re a Christmas flunky too. Maybe you despise our culture’s pressure to make every Christmas bigger and better than the one before. Perhaps you too feel the desire to slow down, simplify, and savor, but you’re not sure how to make it happen.
More than anything else, you want to experience the joy of Christmas. The day “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son.”
Several years ago, I reached a crisis point in my Christmas celebration. The noisier and busier the season got, the emptier I felt. As a believer in Christ, I, of all people, should love to celebrate one of the most joyous events in history, but my heart was far from joyous.
During my quiet time one morning, God led me to John 3:16, the classic verse of Christianity and Christmas. I lingered over the words, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son . . .”
I pictured what it might be like to send my son or daughter to die for the sins of the world, and my heart broke. What an enormous sacrifice God made on my behalf! Selfless, costly, and completely non-reciprocal.
I remembered how my young daughters would ask, “If Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, why do we get the presents?”
“We give because Jesus gave first,” I’d say. “Our gifts to each other are gifts in Jesus’ name.”
That morning, I looked around at the gifts I’d bought for family, friends, coworkers, and even the mail lady. Although the household money I’d used was as much mine as it was my husband’s, I couldn’t say the gifts were sacrificial. We’d budgeted the money, and I certainly hadn’t done without anything significant to purchase them.
As I pondered the sacrifice God made on my behalf on that Christmas so long ago, I felt a strong desire to give something in the name of Jesus that cost me something. I wanted to give sacrificial and meaningful gifts in Jesus’ name.
A plan began to unfold in my mind. Our family budget includes mad money for myself and my husband—personal money we don’t have to account for. I typically use mine for lunches out with friends or special treats. Sometimes I squirrel it away for a bigger, frivolous purchase.
As I thought about how I could give sacrificially in Jesus’ name, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my mad money. The conversation in my head went something like this:
I could sacrifice my mad money.
Hmm, I guess I could do without it for a week.
What about a month?
A whole month? No lunches out with friends? No Starbucks runs? No Chick-Fil-A? Well, that would certainly be a sacrifice . . .
After God revealed to me how I was to give sacrificially, the next question I asked was what?
What could I do that would be extra special, personal, and meaningful? Something to honor Jesus and my family members? What could I do to honor them in Jesus’ name?
As I prayed, the ideas started coming.
My husband, David, has a passion for evangelism and a love for children. I chose to donate money in his name to Samaritan’s Purse. The funds covered the cost of discipleship lessons for six children who received Christ because of Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. He’s also a foodie, so I donated money to pay for meals at a local homeless shelter.
My oldest daughter was a commuter student at the university in town that year. Students had to park in metered spaces and walk long distances to class. They often didn’t get back to their cars until long after their meters expired.
“The only thing worse than feeding a meter and walking to class is returning to find a traffic ticket on your windshield,” she grumbled on more than one occasion. In her honor, I took a roll of quarters to campus and fed every expired parking meter I could find.
As I prayed about how to honor Christ in my youngest daughter’s name, I remembered how, earlier that year, she had come home crying. She’d witnessed another driver hit and kill a stray dog crossing the road. In light of that tragedy, I donated some of my mad money to the local no-kill shelter.
As I prayed about each gift and sought God’s insight for something appropriate and meaningful, I felt my cold Christmas heart grow strangely warm. Every time I took money from my personal stash and implemented a new idea, my heart swelled. By the time I had completed my Jesus gift ideas, my joy bubbled over. I’d never had so much fun “buying” Christmas gifts.
On Christmas morning, after all the other gifts had been opened, I asked my husband and daughters to search the Christmas tree for an envelope with their name on it.
“This is my Jesus gift to you this year,” I said. “To honor Jesus and to honor you.”
My husband found his note and read it aloud.
“Because of you, six children will learn more about Jesus, and six men will eat Christmas dinner today.” A wobbly smile flickered across his face as he wiped a tear that escaped from the corner of his eye.
My eldest daughter found her note and cheered. “Because of you, fifteen students didn’t get parking tickets during final exam week this year.”
Daughter #2 went last. “Because of your tender heart toward helpless animals,” she read, “I’ve paid the fees for two puppies to be adopted from the local shelter.
We hugged, sniffled, and smiled.
In the years since, I haven’t always given “Jesus gifts,” but I have learned to ask God to show me meaningful ways to honor Him as I honor those I love. Instead of making plans and sticking Jesus on top like a last-minute bow, I ask God to direct and inspire my activities so He’s at the center. I hold each decision to the twin plumb lines of, “Does this glorify Jesus and point others to Him?” and “Does this inspire me to worship and enjoy Him?”
After all, as my daughters so eloquently pointed out, “It’s His birthday!”
—Written by Lori Hatcher. Used by permission from the author. Click here to connect with Lori.
28 Responses
Love this story. I hate Christmas for your years 46. My Mom when in the hospital day after Christmas and died 30 days latter of Lupus , and I worked retail for 14 years, couldn’t wait for it to be over.. I like how you said Jesus gifts to you, how putting it that way and getting away from the secular view changed my attitude towards Christmas and your ideas were helpful. Thank you so much and have a Christ filled season.
Bette
Thank you for being honest! I appreciate knowing I am not the only, daughter, wife, mother, sister and friend who is a misfit of decorating, wrapping and such. I’ll let you in on my wrapping secret weapon, pillow cases! Yes, pillow cases. They are practical and just about anything fits inside. A bow? No, that would be my mom or daughter who do that, my hands and brain do not cooperate! Trust me, I can envision a masterpiece, but in real life my creativity is a flop. It used to bother me, not any more. Like you, I have found keeping my eyes on Jesus, thinking of others is what makes my heart sing.
Wonderful Counselor he provides our every need. Thank you for sharing the goodness of your heart. It lights the way to Honor God for his love for us. You bring Joy into a broken world by thinking of another way to love. God Bless your giving heart and the hearts of your Beautiful family. Happy Holidays
Amen, yes He does, Peggy. He’s so good to us! Thank you for the blessings. May God richly bless you in this season of celebration.
Beautiful
Thank you, sweet friend. Christmas blessings to you!
Beautiful reminder is that our joy in this season and our daily lives is to live as Jesus did and serve others in His love .
Amen and Amen, Michele, may your season be filled with Christ’s joy!
I really needed this. I have lost the joy in Christmas, if I ever had it. I get so lost in all the present buying and to-do lists that joy is about the last thing I feel, exhausted is more like it. Thank you for sharing this. I was shedding tears by the end of it, so it has struck a cord, and I would love to follow your lead in this way– to honor Jesus during Christmas!! Thank you!!
Oh, Deb, thank you for joining me in my honest confession. I pray God will show you exactly how you should honor Him this holiday season. May He fill your heart with JOY.
So beautifully writen.
Thank you, sweet friend. God’s blessings to you this Christmas season!
Oh Lori!! I thought I was the only one in South Carolina (Greenville) that felt this way. My church girlfriends can’t understand my feelings about the hype of decorating, cookie baking and ornament exchanges. I’m an Air Force brat, wife and now Mom. I’ve experienced Christmas all over the world and the older I get the more emptier I feel. Thank you for this article. It has truly blessed me.
Hey, sweet friend, so nice to hug across the SC miles. Thank you for sharing your struggles. I’m praying for both of us, that God will, as Charles Wesley observed, "strangely warm" our hearts toward this marvelous (although often overwhelming) season. Most importantly, may our hearts burn brightly for HIM.
Wish I’d read this forty years ago. Oh, I couldn’t have. You were just a baby then. 🙂 Great idea. May I post the link on Facebook?
Of course, Judith, you may link to Facebook. I’m so glad that you were blessed by this.
You’re so funny, Judith :). Yep, it took decades to figure this out, but I"m grateful someone else finds my epiphany helpful. I’ll be mighty blessed if you would share it. May the JOY of Christmas fill your heart this year.
What wonderful ways to honor Christ Jesus and bless family and friends! Thank you, Lori.
I love how God leads us to unique and meaningful ways to celebrate if we’ll stop long enough to ask Him for guidance. Why, oh why do we forget to do this??? Thanks for chiming in. Christmas blessings to you, my friend!
Wow, what a Perfect way to Honor our Lord for His Birthday! As I wipe away tears, I want to thank you for your honesty in sharing your struggles with our normal Christmas traditions that I have been burdened with as well! I love how God revealed to you the Perfect answer! May our Gifts to Him & our Focus on Him truly be a sacrifice worthy of our Gracious Lord!
This is the best idea! Over the last 20 or so years, at our church we pick up Christmas stockings to fill for boys and girls from inner city ministries. As I shop for toys, hats and gloves, and candy for these stockings, these have become birthday gifts for Jesus in my heart
Carol
Oh, Carol, YES! This is exactly the heart attitude that changes tasks to treasures in Jesus’ eyes (and in our hearts). God bless you, sweet sister, and Merry Christmas!
Absolutely love this and can so deeply resonate with how you felt about Christmas. I have always given my husband and children "God gifts." Now I focus on those gifts for my grandchildren. My gifts were more to point them to faith in Jesus but I love your take on this. Thank you for sharing. I thought I was the only one who loved Jesus with all my heart and really wasn’t that into all the Christmas decorating etc.
Wow this makes so much sense know I thought it was only me that cringes every time I heard Christmas music in stores realizing so much had to be done but instead of being joyful o was always so sad I did it even know why I would see others having a good old time decorating shopping cooking but I had no real desire to do any of that but I love the lord with all my heart so I always wondered why I wasn’t joyful during this season ??
Yep, me, too, sister. I’m praying God will show you exactly how He’d like you to treasure Him this holiday season. He will! Christmas hugs to you.
There is comfort in confession, isn’t there, Ann? I, too, am a grandma now, and more than anything else, I want to point my dear grandbabies to the sweetness and sacredness of Christmas. Last year we showed them the Operation Christmas Child catalog, gave them a dollar limit, and let them choose a gift for a needy child. Super special to watch their excitement at GIVING rather than getting. Merry Christmas!
Oh, how I love the idea of "Jesus gifts." What a great example of how Christ can change a heart, even one like ours.
Amen, J.D., so much comfort in knowing He’s the master of removing our stony hearts and giving us hearts of flesh. Thank you, Jesus. Christmas blessings to you, my friend!