How Do We Always Do What’s Right?

“You’re not allowed here anymore.”

Those were the words my father shared with me when I was eight years old.  Our relationship up until that point had already been rocky and strained by the brokenness of betrayal between him and my mom. But this one statement hit me in a way like nothing ever had before. 

Apparently his new wife was intimidated by me and requested I never come back. 

For the longest time, all I wanted was revenge. I wanted a way to unleash my anger. I would daydream about all the things that I could do to make my dad’s life miserable. Admittedly, I even tried a few of them—TP-ing his house as a teenager. It didn’t work. Oh, the toilet paper covered the trees and the house, but the sadness in my heart was as present as ever. In fact, I felt even more miserable.  My desire for revenge paled in comparison to what I really needed—God and his mercy and grace. 

Many years had passed since my dad spoke those words to me and my anger began to subside. . But every time someone mentioned my father, or I watched a movie that reminded me of him, the pain, disappointment, rejection, and anger returned. I imagine that’s how it is for many other people too. No matter how much you want to be at peace, and how well you might display it most days, one small thing can trigger your emotions and you’re right back to that place of raw pain. 

So how can we truly find peace? Peace comes by seeking justice.

Justice, at least in the sense of our court system, is when someone gets the punishment they deserve. What consequence does a father deserve for abandoning his daughter? What does that justice look like? In the court where my heart sat as a judge, it meant that he should be abandoned and sent to live a life of isolation. But that doesn’t seem like the love of a redeeming God. God  let his own Son suffer the punishment that  we all deserved. His plan was much better than that. 

In my late teenage years, I began spending time getting to know God. In my twenties, I gave my whole life to Him, including my broken relationship with my dad. I vowed to forgive him under the condition  that I would never speak with him again. 

Then the phone call came. 

My grandmother had always said “your dad will need you before you need him.” I didn’t really understand what she meant. But that phone call came without warning.  My heart started racing and my breath shortened. I was the little eight-year-old girl again and my life was being shattered.

As my father began to speak, tears welled up in my eyes. He told me how his life had fallen apart. He was alone and isolated. It was the justice my emotions had wanted. But instead of being satisfied, my heart broke for him. I knew the pain he was experiencing. After all these years I didn’t want to persecute him. I wanted to pray for him and that’s exactly what I did. 

I think this is the type of justice God calls us believers to. It’s a love that transforms and  pushes people towards God instead of seeking to tear them down. I’m no expert, but I believe that if we all try to love each other instead of pushing each other away in anger and hate the world can change. 

Blessed are those who act justly, who always do what is right.—Psalm 106:3

God calls us to do what’s right. Knowing Christ so personally, as much as I wanted to let my father  “have it,” I couldn’t. Two wrongs don’t make a right. I learned that I couldn’t use my pain as an excuse to do what I wanted. Following Jesus, calls me to a better way.

What fuels your desire for justice? For me, it’s usually a remedy for pain. Which means acting out of selfish desires. But God calls us to a different kind of justice birthed from a place of love. The situation with my father hurt me and pushed me towards wrongdoing. The same thing happens all around the world in small and large ways. Murders, broken families, sickness, poverty, and relationship strains are driving us apart. And everybody wants what’s best for him or herself. 

Following Jesus means asking a different question: How do we do what’s best for each other?

—Written by Bree Rostic. Used by permission from the author. Click here to connect with Bree.
Bree joined Elisa & Eryn on the God Hears Her podcast. You can listen to The Comparison Trap by clicking here.