What can you learn from your younger self? Have you ever asked yourself questions like how you did something, or why? Maybe you ask yourself how you survived that surprise pregnancy, or that messy breakup, or why you made that one decision that changed your life.
Almost two years ago, I was in South Carolina, sitting on an old, white swinging bench in a garden near my parents’ home. There are different sitting spots—trees, flowers, and a pathway through hedges—that I like to wander through and pray. That’s what I was doing at the exact moment I got the job offer to work with Reclaim Today, a part of Our Daily Bread Ministries, as a Social Media Manager and Strategist.
I was twenty-two, living in Alabama, fresh out of a three-year relationship and working in the wedding industry when I took a huge risk in applying for a job I knew would require me to move across the country to Michigan, far from friends and family. It was 4:45 pm on a Friday when they called with a job offer, and I gave an immediate, bold, and easy “Yes!” What followed this verbal acceptance was a one-mile sprint back to my parents’ home. I called my mentor on the way, screaming, “I got the job! I got the job!”
When I got home, I rushed through the front door and didn’t even pause to catch my breath before those same words flew out of my mouth, full of adrenaline and enthusiasm. “Mom, Dad, I got the job! I got the job!!!” I called the rest of my family, celebrated, and cried in both disbelief and joy. My whole world was about to change, and it didn’t even feel real.
The days following, I felt like Rapunzel when she left her tower for the first time ever. I would say with excitement, “I can’t believe I did this!” and then again with fear, “I can’t believe I did this…” (If you don’t get the reference, believe me, Tangled is worth the watch.)
My emotions fluctuated between vibrant joy and paralyzing anxiety as I realized I would be starting my life over from scratch, far from everything and everyone I knew and loved. I was afraid, but fearless at the same time.
It’s been almost two full years since my big “yes,” and my time in my current position hasn’t always been easy. Especially earlier this year, I needed to learn from that bold, confident girl because I felt so far from her. I needed to learn from my younger self.
She was certain of her decision to take the job, to make the move.
But now? I had doubts. I missed the comfort and familiarity of home.
She was fearless.
I’d become fearful. What if this was a mistake?
She trusted God.
I was in a season of learning to trust Him again. God, are you sure this is still what’s best for me?
Deep down, I knew that despite my doubts I was still called to be here. But I knew my younger self had much to teach me in the challenges I was facing. I needed her encouragement, and I had questions for her.
I took a trip in April to visit my parents in South Carolina and went back to that same garden where I got the job offer. Every morning, I wandered through the hedges praying and would end up sitting across from the bench where my younger self accepted the offer. I asked her, “How did you do it?”
How were you so sure this was something you needed to step into?
How did you hold the tension of being both fearful and fearless so beautifully?
How did you blindly trust God to take care of the details if you accepted the position and made the move?
I needed to know. I needed to learn from her—so every morning I asked questions and listened for the answers. And one of the ways she “did it” was by praising God anyway because she knew God’s character, even when she didn’t know the outcome of the situation.
After my first interview I sat on my floor and prayed, “God, even if I don’t get the job, thank You for the opportunity to make this connection.”
Even if . . . Thank You for . . .
For you it could be:
Even if this relationship doesn’t work out, thank You for the opportunity to learn more about what I want or don’t want in a future partner.
Even if I don’t get an A on this test, thank You that my worth is not found in how well (or poorly) I perform on my exam.
Even if I don’t get this dream job, thank You that there are more opportunities out there.
There’s a lot we can learn from our younger selves. It could be habits we used to have that helped us connect with God, healthy practices we used to cope with rough times and manage stress, or even learning from decisions we made once that we know we never want to make again. So, give your younger self a voice—ask them questions and be willing to listen. You never know what you might learn.
And ultimately, I want to encourage you that praise protects the heart. When we surrender the outcome to God and praise Him anyway, it makes us more available to receive God’s best for our lives.
—Written by Katherine Catlett. Used by permission from the author.
One Response
This is beautiful! I needed this reminder during the holidays when I tend to focus on what (and who) is missing and not praising God as often as I should. You are 100% correct that surrender and praise sets us up to receive God’s best. I am thankful for your timely reminder of this truth!