The unmistakable force of a car hit us from behind.
“Are you okay?” I asked both my husband who was driving and our son in the back seat. Both reassured me they were.
Brett asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. Was I trying to convince my husband or myself?
Our boy went back to listening to his music in his headphones. Brett got out to check on the other driver and returned reporting, “She’s alright. Our car is drivable. You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m a little shaky. I think because it’s so soon after the other accident. But I’m fine.”
Physically I was, but my heart was beating too fast. Deep breaths, I reminded myself. Inhale. Exhale.
A Flashback to Fear
Three months prior my daughter and I had also gotten rear ended (even harder than today’s accident). Praise the Lord for seatbelts! This second hit from behind in such a short time felt like a flashback, like the fear was compounded. Like I was being attacked repeatedly. Why did this keep happening to me?
Brett smiled and squeezed my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I just need a few minutes. My adrenaline spiked. In my head, I know we’re alright. It was just jarring. Again.”
“Do you want me to put on some worship music?”
My husband knows me so well.
“Yes, please.” I squeezed his hand back.
We drove. I prayed. I breathed. And I let the lyrics of the songs wash over me. Words and phrases about God’s goodness and faithfulness. I focused on these beautiful truths in an attempt to hold my negative thoughts captive.
I also knew giving God thanks, something both my counselor and the Bible have taught me to do would calm my anxious thoughts (see Philippians 4:6–7). Thank you, Jesus for keeping my kids safe in both these accidents. Thank you, Lord, for keeping Brett safe. Thank you that the cars were drivable both times. Thank you that I’m okay. Still Lord, I’m shaky. Please calm my soul.”
A Shift in Focus
As I marveled at the fact that I’d been rear-ended twice and had come out of both incidents unscathed, that both times the other person took the blame (meaning their insurance paid for the damage), that both times our car could get us back home, a picture came into my head of Jesus’s giant hand coming between our car and the other cars, cushioning the blows.
Jesus hadn’t let these accidents happen to me. He had been with me, looking after me. Because He’s with all of us. All the time.
As it says in Psalm 139:2–3 (NLT):
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
In awe, I thanked Jesus for knowing when I was on the road and when another car was coming in too fast. Then I asked Him if His hand was okay. (My kids laughed when I shared this with them, but listen, I’m a mama who instinctively wants to make sure everyone’s okay).
And then in my conversation in my soul with the Lord, Jesus reminded me of His hands—punctured, nail-scarred. I was reminded that He’s taken much harder hits for me and for you with those loving hands of His.
Psalm 139:5 came to mind as Jesus reminded me that He always has and always will go before and behind me (He even follows my car!). He will always place His hand of blessing on my head. He always has. He always will. This reminder of Christ’s constant love made me weep.
God With Us
This is who God is. The One who promises to go before us and behind us and keep His strong hand on us. The One who sent His son down from heaven to be with us on that first Christmas over two thousand years ago.
We call Him, Emmanuel. It means “God With Us.” Even when we feel the full force of an attack or a rear-ending or trauma or grief or loneliness or fear or betrayal or anxious thoughts or sadness—God is there. Yes, we live in a broken world where all kinds of horrific things happen. But even in the midst of those, He is with us, cushioning the blows.
I don’t pretend to know what that will look like for you. I’m currently praying with different friends walking some very hard roads. But despite their circumstances, they’ve shared how the Holy Spirit showed them something they needed to see, had the right person text at just the right time, kept them away from something that would have been dangerous, felt Christ’s peace when they were in an incredibly non-peaceful situation. Their problems haven’t dissolved, but they’ve all been bearable, because Jesus is with them. They feel it. They’ve seen it. Just like I did on the side of that highway.
Jesus is with you when you bake or burn the Christmas cookies. Jesus is with you when you’re shopping or wrapping or opening or don’t have enough money for gifts. He’s with you when you drive or crash the car. He’s with you when you’re celebrating with your favorite people and when you’re missing the ones who are no longer with you. Jesus is with you when you get gingerbread lattes with a friend on a Friday and when you’re at home suffering by yourself on a Thursday.
God sees you and hears you. He is always with you. Jesus loves you so much. Praying you feel His presence around you, not just at Christmastime as we celebrate His birth, but today and always, wherever you go.
Laura L. Smith is a popular speaker, podcaster and best-selling author who has written fifteen books including Brave Woman, Mighty God, The Urgency of Slowing Down, and Holy Care for the Whole Self. Smith is passionate about tearing down lies, so we can live in Christ’s truth. She lives in the picturesque college town of Oxford, Ohio, with her husband and the youngest of their four young adult kids. There you’ll find her running the wooded trails, teaching a local Bible study, shopping at the Saturday morning farmer’s market, or going on a sunset walk. You can find more about her at www.laurasmithauthor.com
