Blog
From and about women who love Jesus and want to share His message through Scripture, everyday inspirations, and relatable stories.
I know most people think they know everything when they’re young, but y’all, I REALLY thought I knew everything. My experiences as a teenager formed a faith and worldview that was very black and white; there was no room for gray. Everything was right or wrong. Logic over emotions. I always knew best because the “right” way to do things seemed clear to me.
Last week, I shared why “I understand what you’re going through” creates more harm than healing for grievers—how it demands emotional labor, erases uniqueness, and builds walls instead of bridges. Today, I want to show you what actually works. But first, there’s one more way “I understand” misses the mark that I’d like to address.
In the early days after my husband died, cards flooded my mailbox. Cards with lilies and Scripture, promising “God’s got you” and “They’re in a better place”—filled with genuine care and beautiful words.
“Elvis! Wake up!” I yelled at my phone. Elvis wasn’t answering. Again. My son turned eighteen in August. Although it’s technically his senior year of high school, he only needed one class to graduate, so he enrolled at our local college full-time in the fall. Graduation was on the horizon, as long as he passed his stats class.
The delicious aroma of chicken Provencal and haricots verts greeted my husband and me, as did a jazzy playlist and my friend Shena and her husband Shawn giving us warm, welcoming hugs. The four of us immediately broke into lovely, lively conversation that continued for three hours nonstop.
There are lots of questions I’ve asked God as a result of being single for the entirety of my adult life.
I recently replayed a conversation with a friend. Something about it left me unsettled. You probably know the mental gymnastics I performed afterward. Did I say too much? Not enough? Did she hear what I meant—or only what I said?
As a solopreneur I’m responsible for not just the actual work I do, but also the marketing, sales, customer service, and financial management of my business.