Blog
All Articles

Recreated to Cling

“I’ve been feeling like it’s wrong, the whole sex-outside-of-marriage thing.” I broached the subject with Bill tentatively, not sure what he’d say, still grappling with my own thoughts. We’d moved to Madison, Wisconsin, a year and a half before to start our careers and had rented an apartment together, then built a house. We’d never once questioned the morality of it.

“I’ve been feeling like it’s wrong, the whole sex-outside-of-marriage thing.”

I broached the subject with Bill tentatively, not sure what he’d say, still grappling with my own thoughts. We’d moved to Madison, Wisconsin, a year and a half before to start our careers and had rented an apartment together, then built a house. We’d never once questioned the morality of it. What’s more, we were only four months shy of our planned wedding—our living together shouldn’t have mattered at that late stage. But I couldn’t shake it. It was bothering me. And I offered the only solution I could think of: maybe we should abstain until our wedding day.

“Well, yeah, if you want to take it to that level, of course it’s wrong,” said Bill, recalling his Catholic upbringing. “But since when have we cared about that?” He paused. “I hear you, though. Maybe we should abstain. Or better yet, we could get married now, instead of waiting until May.”

It seemed ludicrous. Was he suggesting we chuck all of our wedding plans of the past year?

Seeing my face, Bill clarified, “I’m not saying to cancel our May wedding. Just get married early and tell only a few people.”

Two weeks later, on Valentine’s Day 1993, we stood in front of our fireplace with candles blazing and roses scenting the air. Only five people were in the room—Bill and me, my mom, and a court commissioner friend with power to marry, along with her husband.

Oh, and another was there to witness, the most important one: God.

I didn’t yet know Him, but I know now that He was drawing me. Graciously burdening me. Disturbing my internal status quo. Moving me to a spiritual place I’d never been, a place where I considered what He might think of my life.

The evening was beautiful, both in the celebration and in my budding consciousness of God. Because of Him, Bill and I had a new status, stepping into words uttered long before:

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. —Genesis 2:24 NASB

Be joined. Cleave. Cling.

My relationship with Bill had gone to another level. In the eyes of God, we had a new intimacy, a real intimacy, one that was special and holy. We were united in a way we hadn’t been earlier. Now that we were joined before God, Bill was my most important relationship. Deep within, I knew we’d taken a divine turn.

But I still didn’t quite get it. I’d thought our housing arrangement was the problem. We were “living in sin” and needed to fix it. But sharing a bed didn’t make us sinners. Sin was part of my very nature from birth. Living together was simply one of a thousand outworkings of the sin within.

But though I didn’t get it, God did, and He was still working. As I would learn, moving Bill and me to marriage was but a step toward something more glorious. God would soon reveal to me the impact of the cross, that cross that caused me to weep in third grade. I would come to understand what that cross had to do with the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, and me. God’s love would reach down and make it personal, because that’s what He does. He’s a God who enjoys relationship, a God who wants us to cling. And by His grace, He leads us to Himself.

But this is why we need to understand what happened in the beginning of human history. It’s also why we need to understand that the enemy is real, that his game is deception, and that his goal is to keep us from relationship with the true and living God. If the devil can squash all talk of judgment and hell, if he can make people think they can live however they want and believe whatever they want and still enjoy an eternity of heavenly bliss—the enemy has won.

But heaven is far from an automatic destination. The truth is this: none of us would spend eternity in heaven if left to ourselves. Heaven is not simply the next destination, where we get to hang out and enjoy everything we want to do, on steroids. Heaven is all about God

But God made a way, and only one way—the cross. Jesus.

From the beginning, God had a plan to save us. He knew we couldn’t save ourselves. He knew sin was hurling us toward permanent death, such that we couldn’t be with Him in eternity.

So He sent His Son to die for us.

This is amazing! This is love.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. —John 3:16 NJKV

God made a way for us to start over, to be born, “not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of a man, but of God” (John 1:13 NASB). The first time around we were born of natural parents. But “whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God” (1 John 5:1 NJKV). We become His children (1 John 3:9). And we are indwelt by His Holy Spirit.

It’s as if God rewinds back to the beginning, back to “let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness” (Genesis 1:26 NJKV). Just as Adam and Eve were handcrafted, so to speak, believers today are “His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:10 NJKV).

That’s the miracle and beauty of being born again. We are recreated in Christ. We become new creations—“the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NASB). The sin nature we inherited from Adam still resides within us—we won’t be free of that until our earthly bodies are renewed—but we are no longer in the grip of the enemy. We are freed from the power of darkness and sin. We’re alive to God. We belong to God.

We’re in relationship with Him. We can now cling to Him. It’s amazing that we can have an intimate relationship with God. But it’s even more amazing to know that He first chose intimacy with us.

—Taken from Cling: Choosing a Lifestyle of Intimacy with God by Kim Cash Tate. Used by permission of Our Daily Bread Publishing®, Grand Rapids MI. All rights reserved. Further distribution is prohibited without written permission from Our Daily Bread Publishing® at permissionsdept@odb.org.

23 Responses

  1. Your transparency is beautiful and winsome. Thank you for sharing your story in such a lovely way.

    Reply

  2. The works that the Father does to bring us closer to Him, He craves a relationship with us. He desires to be in our daily lives. I am so thankful for Him that He gave His son, Christ Jesus, that we may live with Him eternally. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  3. My story turned out different. Trying to live as a Christian but made a bad choice. I knew it was wrong I had been down this road before. I expressed my long journey of abstinence and now I failed again. Even though he agreed to abstain we grew further apart. Our actions toward each other were not kind anymore. The attraction grew less between us. We tried to remain friends but too much damage. Today we are neighbors and friendly. What a painful lesson to learn. Christ is first, his word and his will in my life. God has given peace thru the storm.

    Reply

  4. But to be saved, have the hope of eternal salvation, we must be baptized (immersed). Acts 2:38, Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.“

    Reply

  6. Wow! I read this twice and still am sitting here savoring each and every word. Isn’t God awesome that He takes us in baby steps to reveal His plan for us?? Blessings and thank you for this very beautiful reflection.
    Michelle Rabb

    Reply

  7. Hi Kim ! This Kim lol yes ! The same name the same problem! I’m reborn again for 8yrs I was doing the same thing but I didn’t know it was wrong cause I been with this one man for 14yrs but it was brought to my attention about sex before marriage that I wouldn’t inherited the kingdom of God! So when I read it for myself I was like you! Patting my feet afraid he would leave me ! But by the grace of God I listen and obeyed! He were still not married but no sex! I’m 58 and he’s 60 but I felt like I lost 200 pounds didn’t know what was weighing me down still together he’s ok with it he comes over every weekend we eat watch wrestling and just sit back and relax I love the lord more than I do him ! He been good!🙌🏽🙌🏽😂🙏🏽💞

    Reply

  8. Great read! Thank you! It’s amazing that God is always at work in our lives drawing us to Him. He has a plan, a loving plan.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Posts

The Embrace of Grace

It’s always great to be thankful. On a holiday, special day, any day. We see social media “thank” posts daily for: relationship with Christ, health, family and friends, jobs, ministries, opened doors and opportunities, dreams realized, homes and warmth and shelter, food, peace, freedom, safety, and the list goes on.

My prayer is that gratefulness will extend beyond Thanksgiving weekend or another holiday season and remain my attitude and lifestyle.

Restoration Project

When we first moved into our house over twenty years ago, we needed to rip out all the carpets. I’m allergic to animal fur, and the previous owner had a big furry dog, so . . . over the years there have been plenty of restoration projects—painted and repainted walls, a deck becoming a screened in porch, even adding a little writing nook for me off our bedroom. We’ve invested time and money into restoration projects no one will ever see—like replacing the hot water heater, having work done on the interior of our chimney, and getting a new air conditioning unit.

Discover more resources from the shop

Browse the collection
God Hears Her devotion book cover
God Loves Her book cover
God Sees Her book cover.
Three friends smiling and embracing outdoors

Get Connected

Sign up to get early access to new book releases, podcasts, blog updates, and more!

Join Now