“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.” – Isaiah 26:4, NIV
I spent years of my life dieting, desperately trying to shrink myself, to fit in, to hit that ever elusive number on the scale that would finally make me happy with my body. Or, more accurately, I should say I lost years of my life dieting, laser focused on thinness in pursuit of a beauty standard that always seemed just out of grasp.
It took a rooftop encounter with Jesus while I was studying abroad in Greece in 2013, worried more about the calories in a Nutella donut and the size of my suntanned thighs than my next philosophy exam, to realize that this wasn’t a sustainable way to live. I was tired of the constant food noise buzzing around in my still-developing brain, telling me that my body wasn’t good, that God would love me more when I was smaller. I was tired of the fruitless pursuit of seeking fulfillment in how my body looked, a pursuit that only ever left me filled with shame and regret. I was tired of it all, and I knew, somewhere deep down, that this hateful relationship with my body wasn’t from God. For years, I had clung to the idea that thinness meant happiness, that beauty meant fulfillment. It was a crutch I didn’t realize I was leaning on until I was finally ready to let it go. And thus, through tears, gritted teeth, and a loosening grip on my obsession with the number on the scale, my journey towards being more at home in my body began.
The Journey Towards Healing
Over the next eight years, I read just about every self-love book that existed, listened to countless body positivity podcasts, followed inspirational anti-diet social media accounts, and began regularly going to therapy and learning how to see myself in a new light. I poured over Scripture, asking God to transform my mind (Romans 12:2) and set me free from the bondage of body hatred. I did the work—the un-glamourous work of healing. Over time, I rewrote the script in my mind, replacing the old thinking (“My body is unattractive and unworthy of kindness”) with the new (“He said His creation was “very good” in Genesis 1:31. My body is good.”) I found freedom in the truth that I am allowed to exist without apology in my body today and to show up just as I am. And I found great comfort in the fact that I am created “in His image” (Genesis 1:27), realizing that nothing I do will ever take away this truth or make me less worthy of God’s love and pride.
Throughout my journey towards body acceptance, God consistently met me in the quiet chaos of my healing—in the moments where I compared myself to others, felt the pull to diet or to shrink, and longed to fit into a mold that wasn’t made for me. He didn’t rush me or shame me, as I had done to myself so often. Instead, again and again, I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to trust Him. To trust Him with my body. To trust that He created me intentionally. To trust that He knew what body shape I was going to have, and He blessed it. It turns out, discovering how to accept, like, and maybe even love your body is rooted in trusting God with your body.
And trusting God with your body begins with learning to be present, to honor the body you have today, not the one you hope to earn or escape from. For a long time, I found it easier to disconnect from my body, as if ignoring my physical form would shield me from the discomfort and complexity of my relationship with it. But, I learned, dissociation isn’t healing; it’s avoidance. True healing really began when I stopped avoiding my own body and started listening, facing the pain of self-hatred and counteracting it with the truth of Scripture. Choosing to acknowledge and inhabit my body as part of my self-love journey became an act of trust, saying, “God, I believe you didn’t make a mistake with me, with my body.”
Letting Go of Lies, Leaning into Truth
Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV) says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” My own understanding told me that my body was ugly, lacking, never enough. But God says otherwise.
When we recognize our feelings about our bodies and bring those feelings to Him, He will gently lead us towards healing. Trusting the One who made our bodies with intention reminds us that we are part of His good and holy design. And as we walk in that truth, we begin to see ourselves not through the lens of shame and self-consciousness, but through His eyes of grace—fearfully and wonderfully made (see Psalm 139:14), called chosen and beloved (see Colossians 3:12).
What would it look like to trust God with your body? To bring your fears, your insecurities, and your feelings to Him, trusting that He created you as you are for a purpose?
—Written by Ellen Wildman. Used by permission from the author.
