He Knows What I Need

There’s a cliche, “time heals all wounds.” This rang true to me for many years after my father divorced my mom when I was a little kid. The pain of him leaving dulled as I learned to live life without him. But some moments pick at the wounds and the pain demands to be felt no matter how hard you try to shake it.

I was in my early twenties, living 200 miles away from home. My car broke down. I was alone in my room, my phone shaking in unsteady hands. I was looking at another text from a guy friend who told me at the last minute that they couldn’t test drive a car with me. I squeezed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I can’t do this, I whispered over and over as tears filled my eyes. If only I had a father I could call. . .if only I had intermediate family with me to guide me. I’m a young, single female who will likely get taken advantage of at the car dealership today. The weight of rejection, responsibility, and lack of support weighing heavy.

Though I couldn’t see through the haze of tears around my eyes, I heard a gentle voice guiding my thoughts. With the thoughts, I could sense His warm touch against my fragile, cold body. I didn’t want to listen to the voice that said, your thoughts are deceptions. They were lies I formed in my mind based on what society told me: since my father left at a young age, I am unlovable, abandoned, and an orphan. But the truth is Jesus shows special favor to the ones who have been neglected. He calls them His children and adopts them into His own family.

Scripture says, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household” (Ephesians 2:19). When the world doesn’t have a supportive mother or father, they are helpless and lost. But because I am saved by grace and reborn into the family of God, I am a kingdom citizen. God replaces the aching void of neglect with His nurture, love, and comfort (see Isaiah 66:13).

Through God’s healing words and touch, I could hear Him saying, you will never be taken advantage of because I dwell within you, and I will give you knowledge and wisdom (1 John 4:4). I opened up my laptop and began to do substantial research on how to inspect a car. I made a checklist to bring with me. I then did research on ways dealers can scam buyers and on the recalls for the make and model I was interested in buying. With this new wave of confidence, I told my roommate I was ready for her to drive me to the dealership. She promised to be there for moral support since she didn’t know much about cars. The knowledge I had gained in my thirty minutes of research impressed my roommate and the dealer. Apparently, I went into the shop more prepared than the average person. Earlier, I thought I was going to get taken advantage of as a young, single female, but this was not the case. The dealer showed me the carfax and past records of what had happened to the car and offered it to me for a fair price.

After inspecting and test-driving the car, I called my uncle in Chicago. He asked me questions about what I had inspected as well as about my interactions with the dealer. He gave me some advice and approved of the car before hanging up. I walked out with a brand-new (to me) car!—that very same day. Earlier that afternoon, I was fragile and incompetent, but by evening, I was a confident and competent woman of God. God had replaced my insignificance with His own power and protection.

The Lord didn’t stop there. He continued to provide for me and give me knowledge after I walked out of the dealership. The teller at the bank gave me her card. She offered financial guidance to young women like me who didn’t learn about finances in school. She empathized with me about growing up poor and without a supportive family. She made sure to double check the car I had purchased to see if the dealer had scammed me—she went above and beyond to look after me. And the whole day, my roommate sat next to me for moral support. She even took me out to dinner to show me how proud of me she was. A week later, when I thought I’d run into an issue with my new car, I called my other uncle from Chicago, he answered right away, and gave me advice. A few weeks later, I had an issue with my tires, and my boss and other male co-workers gave me some advice. And I called my mom a few times for some pointers. Even though I had felt alone, I was realizing that I was not. Not only was God himself there, but He was showing me that I was surrounded by people who cared for me.

God is not afraid of distance; He does not define us by our earthly families’ status; He is all-knowing and well-equipped to provide us with the people we need at the time we need them. No matter how far apart we are, “In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit” (Ephesians 2:19–22). God’s gift to us, the Holy Spirit, defies time and distance because He dwells within each member of the body. When each member comes together, standing in one accord, to help and love one another. Through this, God demonstrates that we are never truly alone.

Despite this, I do acknowledge that my father leaving my family at a young age was traumatic, and God sees it and feels it. He felt it so much that He took what was broken and scattered and built it back together in a more improved way. Instead of me just relying on one person, my earthly father, to help me with my car, God gave me a whole community with different backgrounds, skills, and experiences. He imbued me with knowledge from sources I had looked up—He made me confident with a new understanding and awareness about cars that I will take with me for the rest of my life.

Maybe you have a healthy relationship with your mother and father; maybe you live near your immediate family, so they are readily available to help. It’s good to rely on them to an extent. But, the truth is, without God as our main provider, there will always feel like there is something missing, something our parents can’t provide.

This is when God steps in and fills the voids in our lives, whether big or small.

Before we were born, He already knew our earthly families would be insufficient, so He had a plan to adopt us into His family. We don’t ever have to worry about filling the void from our family in our own way because He already knows what we need (Luke 12:30). Earthly families are good, but God and His family are indispensable.

–Written by Toria Keyes. Used by permission from the author.