The offer of a one-to-one mentor is one of the most enticing reasons people consider joining a cohort for the leadership development ministry I lead at our local church. I sense a deep desire with emerging leaders for a companion and guide on their spiritual journey. The problem? Encouraging faithful men and women who are farther along on their spiritual journeys that they are qualified to serve as a mentor! Even people who have walked with the Lord for decades sometimes struggle with Paul’s encouragement, one he gave to a young disciple named Timothy, to “set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity” (I Timothy 4:12).
As I discuss with mature believers the opportunity to mentor younger men and women, I’ve been surprised how often they are reluctant to view themselves as potential mentors (or other familiar Christian terms such as discipler). I listen as they question whether they really are mature enough to play such a significant role. I also resonate with a common concern that they’ll be asked theological questions they can’t answer or left stumped by confusing and painful life situations.
These fears reveal that perhaps we’ve elevated the spiritual mentor role to an unattainable level. In my own journey of resetting my expectations, a perspective that I’ve found helpful comes from Augustine who wrote, “If your mentoree has drawn closer to the heart of God, then you can say they have been mentored well.”
If Augustine, a North African theologian who lived from 354-430, addressed questions of effective mentoring, clearly this isn’t a new fear! His definition offers a more inviting understanding of mentoring that changes the focus from a transfer of information or a behavioral change program to pointing people toward God so they are encouraged to move closer to him.
Pointing People Toward God
How do we help point women toward God’s heart? While every situation holds its own unique opportunity, mentoring is fundamentally relational. It is the slow work of time spent getting to know her. It is being curious about her spiritual journey and the significant milestones along the way. It is also reminding her that she is God’s beloved daughter even if that truth has felt hidden or not fully experienced in seasons of her life. Because the journey is to the heart of God, it can be beneficial to explore together an understanding of who God is. There are so many available resources to choose from—such as Bible studies or Bible reading plans—that can help us to see the qualities and attributes of God more clearly.
One of the gifts of mentoring is when the seasoned believer can encourage the younger woman to consider how she might connect these two things—her personal journey and her deepening understanding of God. To consider what she has learned about God that might impact a concerning situation or help her navigate a new opportunity. A mentor isn’t required to know the answer, but simply to be supporting and praying alongside her on her journey and pointing her toward the destination.
The next time that someone has the courage to reach out to ask you to serve as a mentor, be encouraged that they’ve seen something in your way of pursuing your spiritual life that is beautiful to them. Let the request be an invitation to ask God if he is creating the space in your life to say yes to serving as a mentor. Together you can draw near to God, trusting the promise that “he will come near to you” (James 4:8).
—Written by Lisa Samra. Used by permission from the author.
