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Learning to Like January

I sink into the window seat of my breakfast room with my journal, fully intending to take stock and rev up for the new. But I somehow stall. It’s early—so early that the sun hasn’t even said hello. I strain my eyes, searching for the earliest appearing stab of light reflected from the east onto the mountains in my western view. I wait, yearning for the anticipated reward. Will light come with a clear-skied sunrise? Or will it toy with my hope, hidden in winter’s haze?

“Living with joy, even on bleak days. Really.” —By Elisa Morgan

“Sometimes you have to poke holes in the dark before it bleeds light.”—Margaret Feinberg, Fight Back with Joy

I don’t like January. Oh, I like the “new” part of January where everything is bright and shiny and fresh. But I don’’t like the dark part. January is close to the darkest month of the year. The sun has slid south and left us with the smallest amount of daylight from mid-December through mid-January. And the twinkly light of Christmas has been boxed up for another year.

I sink into the window seat of my breakfast room with my journal, fully intending to take stock and rev up for the new. But I somehow stall. It’s early—so early that the sun hasn’t even said hello. I strain my eyes, searching for the earliest appearing stab of light reflected from the east onto the mountains in my western view. I wait, yearning for the anticipated reward. Will light come with a clear-skied sunrise? Or will it toy with my hope, hidden in winter’s haze?

Another early morning interaction flits through my thoughts. Margaret Feinberg had joined me in a northern recording studio in the wee hours of morning. We sat together with my friend Mart and prepared to dive into what the Bible says about joy for our radio program Discover the Word.

Margaret’s face beamed with the very essence of confident, exuberant gladness. Having survived a season of cancer, she had met and wrestled her foe to the floor. Yet no guarantees had been given to my friend, so she forged ahead with one hand on the Scriptures and the other cupping her hard-won discovery of how God gives joy even in the inky-black moments of our lives.

But there’s a trick Margaret taught us: a condition to God’s gift of joy. We have to want it. And look for joy. And see it when it comes. And carve it out of the clutch that contains it. We have to poke holes in the darkness about us to give joy entrance into our hearts. Then when it comes, which it always does, we have to hold on to it for dear life. Like treasure.

When have you last touched joy? Not the silly happiness of unwrapping a dazzling gift. Not the “told you so” satisfaction of getting your way. Not the giddy glee of a positive bank balance. No, joy: a deep knowingness that God loves you and is with you in this very moment and that He means good for you—even if you can’t see Him. Even if it is still dark.

Maybe that moment when you held your sleeping child in your arms and a beautiful calmness washed through your heart, and you realized God had finally answered the prayer of your soul.

When the diagnosis came yet your spirit surprisingly seeped peace and you noticed the Spirit of God meeting your need.

As you sat alone in a moment and, instead of feeling lonely, you felt filled. You turned your heart to recognize that God was indeed present with you in the absence of anyone else.

When darkness comes, God takes our finger and points it to fight back with joy. To want joy. To search for joy. To find joy. To grab joy and gather it to our souls. As Margaret says, to poke holes in the darkness until it bleeds light.

On my window-seat perch this January morning, hungry for less dark and more light, I turn my gaze away from my still-veiled view and look into the heart of my home. The heart of me. I lift a prayer and ask for God’s presence and perspective. I poke a hole. I remember the answered prayer of my new grandson, the hope of my daughter in motherhood once again, the fulfillment in my son’s new marriage, the good man I have been wed to for over thirty years. God bleeds light in spite of the gloom about me.

I pick up my pen and open my journal to address this January ahead of me. I fight back with joy.

—Originally published on Elisa Morgan’s Really blog. Used with permission from the author. Click here to connect with Elisa.

43 Responses

  1. Yes…I choose JOY!
    My Dear elderly Mother was taken care of and overcome covid. My brothers daughter overcame covid. My sisters daughter is able to live life after her mother’s sudden death. I had energy to take care of Great Gran daughter. My sister trusted to travel to see her very ill daughter. It is what God has done, trusting what He is doing and believing what He said He will do (His Promises). Thank you for sharing your heart through God’s WONDERFUL word of truth. I love OUR God who loves US ALL.

    Reply

  2. Thank you for your uplifting reminders of God’s Goodness that surrounds us even in the cold of winter. His beautiful scenery; trees covered with the frost from the night before sparkling in the midst of the snowy morning, the sun shining briefly making one feel the Presence of God, my warm home, restored family relationships and a restored love for my husband and me. All God’s gracious gifts that I forget in moments of despair as I hear political and Pandemic news of more cases and the deaths of long-ago friends to COVID. You make me remember and help me find my joy and the deep love and trust and hope I have in our amazing God.

    Reply

    1. Bonnie,
      Your words are so inspiring. So good. I am reminding myself of Gods gracious gifts in the moments of despair. Thank you for your vulnerability and presence in the GHH community!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  3. Thank you for Elisa for posting your thoughts about darkness in January and reminding me that darkness does not overcome light, but light shines in the darkness. All I have to do is want God’s joy and He will help me find ways to poke holes in the darkness and let light in. It has been three years since my husband died and finding joy and light has been difficult since then. Thank you for your encouragement.

    Reply

    1. Beckie, thank you for these words. That is such a beautiful prayer and desire. We are so grateful for your vulnerability and involvement in the GHH Community. You are covered in prayer!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  5. Thank you. I have been wanting & wondering when will I get my joy back for almost 3 years since my husband passed. Reading your passage, I realize I really have to want it more really poke a hole in the darkness.

    Reply

  6. With the current unrest and pandemic sweeping through our nation, I find myself worrying. Then I sit down with my Bible, devotional book, and the Lord shows Himself to me. Daily He reminds me that in spite of the darkness around me, He is still Light and sitting on the theone!

    Reply

  7. Love this. It makes me rehash my day looking for those pieces of joy. Even though it was a rainy, cold winter day, the new snow on the mountains, the little red bird, to a cardinal, was dancing on our patio, and then our hummingbird came and ate outside our kitchen window . I was going to stay in, but knew I had errands to run and He kept me from being in an accident. I returned home safely. Then most joyously, FaceTimed our handicapped son in his group home. His big smile of recognition made my heart almost melt. And then a wonderful husband who cooks dinner, and always asks if I need anything. Thank you, Lord, for giving me such joyous occasions.

    Reply

  8. Thank you for this reflection. I’ve recently battled with COVID-19 and five other family members and we all blessedly survived it by God’s healing grace. It was so hard to get a glimpse of joy with all the anxieties that surround me these days during these extraordinary times of crisis. But thank you. Thank you for guiding me in wanting to find joy once again!

    Reply

    1. Natacia, praise the Lord!! We are so inspired to read your faith in the midst of uncertainty and anxiety. Joy is to be found!! We are grateful you are part of the GHH community!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  9. I love this uplifting statement, your podcasts are also so inspiring to me. I’m so grateful God brought me to your website.

    Reply

  10. I can appreciate the idea of poking holes in the darkness until it bleeds light. That is what I will be encouraged to do from now on as it has been quite dark for me lately. I am waiting for God to shine the light on the pathway the I am to go for the future (my purpose), that I may boldly walk in it. In the meantime, I will remember to poke holes in the darkness of this time to expose light that I might experience the joy He has placed within me.

    Reply

    1. Miracle, yes yes! We pray that you will be able to discern the next steps in front of you as you ask the Lord questions on the path to take. You have so much purpose already. We can’t wait to see what the Lord does next! We are so grateful for you and will join you in that prayer!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  11. Great Christian stories of perseverance through challenges in life. A lot of the stories remind me of my grandmother’s wonderful advice when I was in my 20’s!

    Reply

  12. I went through a battle with a rare cancer of the brain, CNS Lymphoma(cancer of the nervous system). After months of therapy which I was never sick & then a stem cell transplant, I am now cancer free. Only God could haven given me that incredible peace. He sent me to the right doctors and gave me a strength I never thought I’d have. It’s been two years and I have a future now with my husband, family & friends. Never give up on the power of prayer!

    Reply

  13. I like what is written = When darkness comes, God takes our finger and points it to fight back with joy. To want joy. To search for joy. To find joy. To grab joy and gather it to our souls. As Margaret says, to poke holes in the darkness until it bleeds light. I am having dark moments and feeling scared, please pray for me. Thank you!

    Reply

    1. Mirabelle, yes! We pray that you will experience the Lords presence right now. That any darkness that feels all too consuming will become bright. Any heavy thoughts will be silenced and the Lord’s presence will be so evident. We are for you. We are so grateful you are part of the GHH community!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  15. Just two months ago November 17 I was officially divorced. A week before celebrating my ninth anniversary . My husband divorce me after eight years of being married. Six months after graduating from residency and officially becoming a doctor, he decided to end our marriage, I was there through the beginning of his career. He broke my heart and shattered it into a millions pieces. I tried to save my marriage but he didn’t want to. If it wasn’t for the Lord I don’t know where I would be right now. He has been my strength through it all! My healer and my comforter! I know he is still healing my broken heart and bandaging my wounds. I know that I’ll be okay and that I trust him to continue to write my story. A beautiful story that I am looking forward to see. I have drawn closer to God like never before! He has become my best friend and he is the only one who would never leave me or betray me. I will praise you in my storms.♥️🙏🏼

    Reply

    1. Lenny, I first want to share how inspired I am by your faith in the Lords goodness in the midst of heartbreak. It is evident that you can withstand big and small storms. All that you have endured to remain expectant of God to heal your wounds that takes a divine strength from our Father. I am so sorry for your heartbreak. I, too have been through a divorce after 9 1/2 years of marriage. 4 years later I continue to experience God’s excitement in redeeming and recovering areas of my heart. In the beginning, no matter my awareness of Gods love for me, morning and nights were hard. I would place my hand on my heart and invite the Lord to comfort it in the midst of my healing. Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable in sharing. I am honored to know a sliver of your story. Grateful you are part of the GHH Community.

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  16. Thank you for reminding me that I must want God’s gift of joy! When it’s mine, I then hold on…for dear life…like treasure..for it is just that..a treasure, indeed!!
    I’m waiting with great expectation for the new season of God Hears Her!
    Be blessed today!🙏🏾💛🌻

    Reply

  18. Thank you for this,it is a dark season in my life. However, I will remember to poke holes until it bleeds much light. I know the lord is with me even in this.

    Reply

    1. Janice, we pray over your circumstance right now. That any darkness you are experiencing, you will feel the Fathers presence over your heart and mind. We are so grateful you are part of the GHH Community!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  19. What a joy! My thoughts are, if we can’t find joy, then what? I cringe to think of the alternatives. I have a friend named Jeri who exemplifies this. Her signature complimentary closing is “Joy, Jeri.” All too often these days we’re finding it harder to be joyful—a pandemic, an economy in crisis, a people split in their democratic choices, hungry out of work people, students who need to be in school—we need to take a step back, go for a walk, or my favorite respite, sit by a body of water and reflect on the wonders around us and leave our troubles at the feet of our ever present God.

    Reply

    1. Susan, this is beautifully said. When times feel so dismantling– sitting by a body of water, whether it be a creek, lake, or ocean to reflect on His glory and creation. Learning to surrender my troubles to Him. So grateful for your words!

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  21. Joy is my word for 2021. With just 25 days into this year if I looked outward I would not find a lot of joy ( unexpected death of a friend, discord in our country, gloomy days). But I know that my joy comes from the Lord each and every day,

    Reply

    1. Linda, thank you for sharing your word of the year with us. Our hearts go out to your loss. We pray you will find joy in the midst of hardship and heartache. Grateful for you.

      Please join our women’s prayer group and let us know how we can cover you in prayer. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1065571583891975

      Eryn Co-Host to God Hears Her Podcast

      Reply

  22. Thank you for that. While I am hungrily awaiting the next season of God Hears Her, your words today have inspired me.

    Reply

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