Never Been This Way Before

The first smile. The first time sleeping through the night. The first tooth. The first word. The first step.  Becoming a new mom more than two decades ago, I anticipated all the firsts. I’d poured over books, joined new moms’ groups, and sought our advice from older moms. While a lot of the tips and suggestions were helpful, I often felt like I was still having to blaze a new trail. Success never came as easy as promised, and our situation presented some distinct challenges. 

blog feature image 1200x900 never been this way before (1)

The first smile. The first time sleeping through the night. The first tooth. The first word. The first step. 

Becoming a new mom more than two decades ago, I anticipated all the firsts. I’d poured over books, joined new moms’ groups, and sought our advice from older moms. While a lot of the tips and suggestions were helpful, I often felt like I was still having to blaze a new trail. Success never came as easy as promised, and our situation presented some distinct challenges. 

As my son grabbed pieces of his first birthday cake and stuffed them into his mouth, I was relieved to have successfully made it. I wasn’t a new mom anymore.  

But then something I wasn’t expecting kept happening. The firsts kept coming. And each subsequent child brought their own unique new firsts as well. 

First day of school. First overnight camp. First emergency room visit. First broken heart. First job. First college acceptance letter. First college rejection letter. First summer internship. 

Motherhood is a long journey. Instead of a repeat of successes and replicating what I’d done before, I’ve found it to be a journey of constantly navigating new paths.      

God’s Presence Leads the Way

On the journey of motherhood, I’ve found encouragement from an unexpected place in the Old Testament. The book of Joshua opens as the Israelites’ forty years of wandering in the desert is nearly over. God brings them to the edge of the land that he’d promised hundreds of years before to Abraham and his descendants. For three days the people camp on the east bank of the Jordan River. As they eat their meals, care for their livestock and plan for the last leg of the journey, they can see with their eyes what their ancestors only longed for. 

Wanting to encourage the weary travelers and prepare them to cross the Jordan River, officers traveled throughout the camp with instructions:

When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the Levitical priests carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it. Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before (Joshua 3:3, 4). 

God had instructed the Israelites to build the ark soon after they escaped Egypt as a physical representation of his presence with them to guide them. For decades the Israelites had followed the ark. Now the landscape would change. Everything they would encounter would be new. There is deep kindness in the acknowledgement that they had “never been this way before” and a gentle reminder that because God’s presence was with them, they would “know which way to go.” 

Never Alone 

Embracing the idea that I am always a “first time” mom even after two decades gives me a lot of peace. I still don’t have it all figured out. I’ve never been this way before! I’ve learned to listen to God’s Spirit and allow him to be my faithful guide. 

There are new firsts that await me. I don’t know exactly where my children’s journeys will lead but I imagine there will be a first daughter-in-law. First home. First job transfer to another state. First grandbaby.  

I’ll be a first-time mom again and again even after all these years. But, I’ll never journey these new paths alone. 

As you look at the journey in front of you, which likely looks completely different than mine, I imagine that there are many new “firsts” around the bend. Leaning into the reality that God is present with you, ask him to help you navigate the path ahead and show you which way to go. Guided by his spirit, you can walk forward with joy, peace and hope. 

Written by Lisa M. Samra. Used by permission from the author.

13 Responses

  1. As a grandparent, I am now finding that some of the lessons I learned as a “Mom” still apply as I watch my husband deal with the disabilities of aging. At first, denying(“do I have to parent you, too?”)I am grateful that God has taught me skills as a Parent/grandparent that are still needed today. Only He knew!!

  2. Thanks for this. Today I am step-grandmother to 7 and just now, my only bilogical child is having her second baby. The circumstances are wildly different than when she had her first so I know I’ve never been this way before. As your post reminds us, God goes before and with us. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the stinky diaper…

  3.  I appreciate your perspective and the challenges you face. I’m grateful for the contributions and sacrifices you make. Thank you, and God bless you.

  4. That is such a nice story. It reminds me of when i was a child. Thank you for sharing this.

  5. This was inspiring because “parenthood” does not have a manual and I have learned that it is ok to say you are sorry and explain that even as adults we do not always get it right. Communication is so vital for a healthy relationship!!

  6. Thank you Lisa for your story.I think it is Beautiful and I am very happy that you had wise and gentle people to turn to. I had those people, but I always took them for granted. I had been raised In a church going family but I didn’t GET the purpose of going to church like I wish now I had listened and took to heart. Thank you again 💓.

  7. I am using your app but would love to have these emailed to me please? I no longer receive your books and when I call in I’m told they are being sent to me. Why am I not receiving them? Blessings on you all!!!
    Sincerely,
    Lisa

  8. You have been so open and detailed in your approach to “first time” experiences -what a blessing! It was my pleasure to either experience some of those “firsts” with my wife and what a joy it was! Those are precious memories and will always be remembered! Mothers are so “special” in so many ways! Their compassion, love, patience and desire to care for those precious children is truly amazing! May God’s presence be evident in all that you do and bring GREAT JOY to you/family throughout life’s journey!

    To Go be the glory!

  9. I like your perspective on being a “new” mom over and over again. I’m at the stage of grandparenting and watching our sons navigate fatherhood with all their “firsts”. But I can testify that GOD is faithful through every season of life. Thank You JESUS

    1. So very true as a grandparent and watching our son being the Godly father for our 2 granddaughter is beautiful! God faithfulness is awesome!

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