As much as I’ve tried, as many hours and countless miles that I have put into it, and as much as I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise, I’m finally ready to admit something—I hate running.
That elusive “runner’s high” always seems a few steps ahead of me. My runner friends who talk about it like it, and I always think, “Maybe it’ll happen two miles in?” Nope. Just a nagging cramp in my side and waning motivation. “Four miles in?” Still nothing but excessive sweating and achy knees. “Surely five miles will do it?”
Unless “runner’s high” is what it feels like to question all your life’s decisions and wondering how strange it would look to people if I just laid down for a bit on the side of the road, then I still have no idea what it feels like.
I’m constantly second guessing and trying to figure out why it’s not easier. Maybe I need different shoes or my stride isn’t right? Maybe I’m eating too much or maybe not enough before my run or not breathing efficiently? I’ve tried to isolate and experiment with as many variables as I can. Each tweak brings back the same results: I just don’t enjoy running. And it’s probably always going to be hard for me.
You know what I don’t hate, though? Being done with my run. The taste of ice-cold water and a delicious recovery snack afterwards. Knowing that I did a hard thing. Somehow the physical and mental struggle of running always ends up being worth it (even on those scorching summer days here in the south when you feel like you can cut the humidity with a knife).
I love being able to feel my strength and endurance increasing over time. I love being able to chase my kids around the playground and feel my energy level lasting a bit longer into the night. I love knowing that it was worth it.
Also, when I use those excruciating moments during my run to reflect, I notice things about myself that I don’t in other circumstances. During my interminable runs, it becomes quickly clear that I really like feeling comfortable. And I have a hard time when I’m not (that one always hits me an entire five minutes into my runs). I also very much like being in control, and being unable to control my discomfort when I run makes that painfully evident.
Isn’t that how it goes with our walk of faith sometimes? We want to follow Jesus. We want to be in tune with the Spirit, knowing that everything we say or do is an expression of Him working in and through us. I want to reap the benefits of peace, contentment, and a selfless, compassionate outlook on the world that comes as a result of communing with the God of the universe.
But there’s no shortcut to getting there. It doesn’t come without some painful and necessary refining. Do you know how metal gets to its purest state? Through intense heat. Repeated hammering. The scraping off of impurities.
There’s a reason so many of the authors in the Bible use a metaphor of refining when talking about our faith. That refining process in our own lives can come from many different situations: periods of intense suffering or loss, or even from seasons of devotion to the spiritual disciplines during times when God feels distant. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful, but there’s a purpose.
“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)
“This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’” (Zechariah 13:9)
“For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver.” (Psalm 66:10)
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” (Isaiah 48:10)
Without refining, a piece of metal can never be pure, would never reach its potential. Without refining, we can never grasp the depth of God’s love for us and His role in showing the gospel to the world through our lives. It’s how the impurity of our sin and the idols we seek after rise to the top and are exposed. Refining is how we become more like Jesus.
There’s a good chance I’ll never love running, just like I’m never going to love going through challenging or painful things on this journey of faith. I do know, however, that it will always be worth it. I will never regret that I went for that run when I look back on it, and I will always be thankful that a trying season helped me be able to look back and see God’s faithfulness through it. Always.
But also, maybe some better running shoes would help.
–Written by Stephanie Teague. Used by permission from the author.
10 Responses
Thank you for this article. I struggle with mental health disorder but God has been faithful through it. They say there is no cure for my type of disorder and that I’ll always be on medicine. I feel like The Apostle Paul who was given a thorn in his flesh, but through it all, I would rather boast in my weaknesses that God get the Glory. Amen!!
Love this article and relate so much!
Try bicycle riding
Thanks I need more love os Jesus
Good words to Uplift and Encourage and Thank you. We all must go through the trials and tests of life. The good and bad the ups and downs. I was alarmed when you said "I hate to run" I say " I hate the unknown..but for the Grace of God we can remember all he has helped us through. That he is right here with us and his promises reign true. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is a Risen God hallelujah
I feel the same way about exercising, but it’s like studying the Bible. There is always a reward. I feel better after doing both.
HAVE YOU ENDED UP IN A HOSPITAL, NOT KNOWING WHERE OR EVEN WHY? THAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME. I HAD TO BE REASSURED CONSTANTLY BY WORK AND KINDNESS AND PHYSICAL HELP THAT I NEEDED TO BE CHECKED OUT IN MANY WAYS. I HAD TO BE THERE. SO I RELAXED AND WAS GRATEFULL FOR EVERYTHING DURING THAT SHORT TIME OF A BIT LESS THAN A DAY. I ATE WHAT WAS SERVED, THANKED THE VARIOUS STAFF MEMBERS, RELAXED, AND TRUSTED THE LORD TO TAKE CARE OF ME—AGAIN. THAT HAS BEEN MY LONG LIFE OF 91 YEARS: THE LORD HAS TAKEN CARE OF ME. I AM HERE, I HAVE RENEWED SOME OF MY THOUGHTS AND UNDERSTANDING, AND HAVE THANKED THE LORD FOR MY LONG LIFE OF 91 YEARS, PLUS. FOR SOME REASON WHICH I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND PROBABLY MOST OF THE TIME, THE LORD HAS KEPT ME HERE. FROM GERRY ROBBINS
I am 74 years old and I no longer run. I remember those days at 5:30 in the morning in Ft Mitchell, Ky. Three children and a husband sleeping soundly as I slipped out the back door in layers of running gear but unafraid of the dark snd quiet trails ahead.
I know how grueling some days could be and yet how close to my heavenly Father I felt. Thank you Lord for my time alone with you. Now, I sometimes walk, sometimes row on my trusted erg. Wind chimes gently move me to the presence of my God – never alone, remembering His love through all those years of times gone by.
Thank you for bringing those bitter sweet memories back into focus.
Nancy in Georgia
Amen! I’ve been through some tough times and He carried me through. He makes us stronger and more resilient through those hard times.
There have been times in my life when I have wondered why I am experiencing struggles and have felt that God had abandoned me. However, it was through those struggles, looking back, that I realized that I was not alone, but God, because of his love for me, was refining me into who he wanted me to become. As I have matured in Christ, I can now ask myself, what is God trying to teach me? and how can I grow from this struggle?