Country music was the soundtrack of my teenage years, and no country star at the time was as big as Garth Brooks. His song “Unanswered Prayers” climbed the Billboard country chart all the way to number one in 1991. I can still sing every word.
Brooks sings about running into an old high school flame that years ago he’d desperately prayed God would allow him to marry. Now with his wife at his side, Brooks croons that he’s grateful that God didn’t answer his fervent high school plea. He concludes, “Sometimes God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”
While I belted out the lyrics in high school, I’ve found they seem to fall a little flat as I’ve gotten older.
Unpacking “Unanswered”
It’s a tricky phrase, “unanswered prayers.” It can mean (as in Brooks’ ballad) not getting the answer I wanted. Or, it can refer to prayers that I’m still waiting on the Lord to answer. Whether it was a “no” answer when I desperately wanted a “yes” response or continuing to pray when heaven seems silent, unanswered prayers can be areas of tender sorrow because they concern people and situations nearest to my heart.
Prayers of healing for a dear friend from a disease that robbed her of her voice, her mobility, and then her life. Prayers for a relationship to be restored that continues to be painfully broken. Prayers for several struggling marriages that ended in divorce instead of the reconciliation we’d prayed for. Prayers for a loved one to return to faith that haven’t resulted in any meaningful turn back to God.
These prayers are for situations that are not only near to my heart, they’re also near to God’s heart—restoration of relationships, healing of disease, and an embrace of faith. So why hasn’t he answered in the way I’ve asked or left me waiting without an answer?
Reframing My Perspective
As I’ve grappled with the reality of seemingly unanswered prayers, a few reminders gleaned over the years have helped me find peace and helped mature my prayer life.
Unanswered prayer isn’t simply the result of my lack of faith. Scripture keeps us from going down this dark pathway by showing us examples of men and women who prayed in faith, and still didn’t get what they asked from God. Paul writes of having a painful “thorn in the flesh”—an unidentified ailment that Paul described as “a messenger of Satan, to torment [him].” Three times Paul “pleaded with the Lord to take it away from [him]” (2 Corinthians 12:7–8), but God never removed it from him. While we aren’t sure exactly what Paul is referring to, we do know that this faithful apostle didn’t get the answer he begged from the Lord. In the Garden of Gethsemane, as he neared his coming death, Jesus prayed “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me” (Luke 22:42). But there was no other way for God’s plan of salvation to be accomplished than for Jesus to endure the cross. Jesus’ prayer wasn’t answered as he requested. Rejecting guilt that falsely implies I bear responsibility for prayers that aren’t answered the way I’d hoped allows me to remain unvarnished and transparent when I cry out to God.
Unanswered prayers are an opportunity to draw close to God. David’s honest prayers in the Psalms are filled with requests not just for God to act but for him to be near. Written when David was in the Judean wilderness, perhaps once again running for his life, Psalm 63 captures David’s mindset, “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water” (v. 1). My response to unanswered prayers can be an indicator of whether I’m seeking God or merely wanting answers. There’s a deep humility in being willing to examine my heart regarding my motives and continuing to pursue relationship (James 4:1–8) over results.
Unanswered prayers remind me to look for how God is working. Gratitude keeps me from growing bitter because I’m more alert to the many ways that God is caring for me. Even though it doesn’t erase the pain and confusion of the unanswered prayer, reminders of God’s faithfulness, even small ones, provide comfort. The blessing of a peaceful death reminds me of God’s care in my friend’s homegoing even as I still long for her presence. Each new bud that appears in my garden reminds me that God is still filling my life with beauty amid the pain of strained relationships. Laughter around the dinner table is an uplifting gift of joy when my heart grieves over broken marriages. Keeping a gratitude journal and writing down evidence of God’s presence has often helped me open my eyes to the tangible reminders of God’s goodness.
As you wrestle with prayers where you still haven’t seen God’s response, I hope it provides some comfort to know that you are not alone in your waiting and sorrow. As we trust together that God’s perspective and plans are beyond what we can grasp, we can encourage each other to continue to pray for God to act on our behalf. Even if our prayers remain unanswered, they never go unheard.
—Written by Lisa Samra. Used by permission from the author.
3 Responses
Try not to get discouraged when life gets upended and messy and God seems disinterested… But sometimes things so overwhelming and confusing without clear direction or how to sort things out .
I enjoyed reading this article I myself often wondered about unanswered prayers. Some I was glad He didn’t answer. Yet the honest heartfelt ones were the ones I would look for never visualized them as you did. Although sometimes the simplest things bring the most joy. The clouds in sky, a new grandchild being born or like you said a flower blooming in your garden. So thank you for this.
Thank you. I am in the midst of familiar heartache after taking a really big step of faith. I had been feeling that God was quiet as I cried out for answers/clarity/direction. I can hear His whispers as He calms the desires of my heart through your words. So thank you for sharing this message. I needed it and He knew I would hear Him today because He already had His response set for this time. I am encouraged to continue watering a barren field in faith knowing that He is faithful.