Celebrating Mother’s Day
About this Episode
Episode Summary
Motherhood is a hard journey full of joys and sorrows. If you’re a mother, what does your motherhood journey look like? If you’re not a mom, do you wish to be one? On this episode of God Hears Her, no matter if you have kids or not, we want to invite you to join a vulnerable conversation with Elisa Morgan (mother-through-adoption and grandmother), Eryn Eddy-Adkins (new bonus mom), and Mary Jo Clark (mother to a one-year-old boy). Join these three women as they discuss the different types of mothers and mentors and rest in the truth that no matter what your experience looks like, you are not alone. Happy Mother’s Day!
Episode Transcript
God Hears Her Podcast
Episode 124 – Celebrating Mother’s Day with Mary Jo Clark
Elisa Morgan & Eryn Eddy-Adkins
Mary Jo: I just want moms that maybe are struggling with that, new moms that are struggling with that feeling, struggling with mourning their old life but being excited for this new one and…and trying to manage those feelings together, I want you to know you’re not alone in that. And I want this to be a conversation that you hear and know that you can talk to other people about that.
Voice: You’re listening to God Hears Her, a podcast for women where we explore the stunning truth that God hears you, He sees you, and He loves you because you are His. Find out how these realities free you today on God Hears Her.
Eryn: Welcome to God Hears Her. I’m Eryn Eddy-Adkins.
Elisa: And I’m Elisa Morgan. Today we’re sitting with one of our producers, Mary Jo Clark. And then Eryn and I are going to all share together about our adventures in motherhood. Mary Jo recently celebrated her son’s first birthday, so she’s been navigating motherhood for a year now. And Eryn, you’ve been a bonus mom now for several months. And boy, I’ve been at it for decades.
Eryn: Today, we want to talk about motherhood. There are so many ways to become a mother—adopting, fostering, becoming a step-mom or what I like to say, a bonus mom. And we want to make space for each experience today.
Elisa: So join us for our three-way conversation—Mary Jo Clark, Eryn Eddy-Adkins, and me, Elisa Morgan on God Hears Her. As we’re recording this, Eryn, you’ve been married for like, I don’t know, 14 days or something. I’m not sure. But you have been amping up, you know, on the on-ramp to becoming a step-mom for a couple years.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: So and just a little context for me, my kids are in their late thirties. Both of my children came to us through adoption. So I’ve never been pregnant but adoption as infants. And they were private adoptions so didn’t know their birth parents. Since that time, my son found his birth mother. My daughter hasn’t been on that journey. I became a grandmother almost 20 years ago for the first time. And then I also have a son-in-law that I’m a mom to in many ways. I have a daughter-in-law that I’m a mom to as a mother-in-law in a way. And then now we have another grandson and just a month ago, another grandson. So got lots of those mom things going on. Plus I had a step-mom, plus you know, blah, blah, blah. So we want to talk about the adventures of motherhood, you know, just all of the things about, you know, as we kind of celebrate mothering. We want to talk about that, right?
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: Anything you want to get off your chest as you get into this?
Eryn: I’m new to this space. And there’s also this imposter syndrome that I think that I am wrestling with and…
Elisa: Can you unpack that a little bit, Eryn? What do you mean by that?
Eryn: Yeah, I think that God has equipped me over the last decade of my life to be in the exact space I’m supposed to be in right now. And that is a bonus mom to a six-year-old, a 12-year-old, and a 14-year-old. And what’s so sweet about what God has done and how He’s just redeemed both my husband and my’s lives in blending our families together is that I grew up in a household of three girls. And it’s the same age gap that…
Elisa: Wow.
Eryn: …his daughters are that me and my sisters are. So I feel like there’s a lot of like inner child work that I’ve been doing over the last couple of years as I’ve just observed and loved these girls and waited, you know, for them to love me back in this journey. And so I…I feel like the imposter syndrome piece is I know that God has placed me in this. I’ve had beautiful words spoken over me. And there’s just so many sweet things that have happened over the last couple of years to bring me to this point. But then you like, it’s almost like He’s prepared me. But then you also feel like you are a goldfish that’s been placed in cold water, cause there’s new experiences that you’re learning to exercise muscles that you’ve never done before. And so you start to think like, am I equipped? Am I qualified? Am I the person that needs to be doing this? You know you have those like second…second thoughts, which every mother I think feels that way.
Elisa: Totally, totally.
Eryn: But I have isolated myself into thinking, nope, it’s just because I’m a bonus mom, that only bonus moms feel this way…you know another term would be “step-mom” feels this way. Moms with children that are their blood don’t feel that way. So you o…you start to have these like battles in your mind. So I mean I’m just diving in. And those are…that’s the journey that I’ve been on.
Elisa: That’s so rich. And I know a lot of people are listening and can identify with that. I’ve had some of those thoughts as an adoptive mom that there is a pretense about it, you know, and somebody’s gonna find out some day. MJ, you have a more traditional route into mothering. And in a lot of ways, you’re in the thickest, difficultest part in some ways. But in other ways, you’re in the joyest discovery moments. Tell us about your journey into motherhood.
Mary Jo: I want to start by thanking Eryn for sharing that part. Especially, you said you feel that way, but no one else does. And it’s such a big feeling that everyone’s having because no one’s talking about it. So I want to thank you for bringing it up. I was…honestly, I was like how am I gonna even start with sharing today? Because there’s so much joy in my life right now. But there have been a lot of hard mourning moments as well. And so I was gonna start with the difficult things as well. And I will say, I didn’t have Milo until I was 33. So it felt like I was older in regards to…I mean I think geriatric for pregnancy is….
Eryn: I was about to say.
Mary Jo: …like 35 or something.
Eryn: Yeah.
Mary Jo: So they are already like hey, warning you already so you know. But I’ve not done it before, so I still feel young. But that just meant I had…I didn’t get married till 30. So I had my twenties of being independent. I loved travel. Russ and I, when we got married, we made sure that we traveled and enjoyed new adventures together. And so there was this strange feeling. I knew I wanted to be a mom, but I also accepted that I mean I didn’t know if I’d be able to. So I accepted this fact of I’ll be happy if I have kids; and I will be happy, content if I don’t. And so when we got pregnant, we were looking forward to it. And we were excited. And I wasn’t even…it was strange. Cause I’m an…I’m an anxious person. But I wasn’t scared of the birthing part. I was scared of the baby part. And so the labor was not something I feared. And then once my baby was here, it was so comforting and I had so much joy. And I thought wow, this must be the…the chemistry switching in my brain where I’m just so natural. And then maybe two hours later, I was like no. It was a gift for that moment. But the first two nights in the hospital were really hard for me. I was fine during the day. I was fine being awake taking care of…being taken care of, but also taking care of my baby and my husband. But it was the nighttime, all of these anxious thoughts, I am not great in change. This is the biggest change of my life. And I felt sad. I was mourning the loss of my old life but then feeling immense guilt and shame, because I loved this new baby so much. I didn’t want to feel sad. Cause this is a joyful time. And so it was this strange coexisting of feelings but just really overpowered by this shame for having any of the sadness. I really resonate with what you were saying, Eryn, with the imposter syndrome. Because I’m the youngest. I have one sister, older sister. I don’t have any experience with taking care of children or babies. And so it really was kind of being pushed into the deep end. Or you…I liked your example of the fish going into cold water. And with that comes shock. I think that your body just…
Eryn: True.
Mary Jo: …goes into shock. And so I would say I just want moms that maybe are struggling with that…new moms that are struggling with that feeling, struggling with mourning their old life but being excited for this new one and trying to manage those feelings together, I want you to know you’re not alone in that. And I want this to be a conversation that you hear and know that you can talk to other people about that.
Eryn: That’s so good.
Mary Jo: Yeah, it…it took me a few months to feel more connected and more like alive in it. And that’s that postpartum journey as well. But I really rounded a corner maybe like five months in. There were still a lot of hard times, but it was…I was just excited each day then to be there with my baby. And it wasn’t just that pressure of this is my life. This has changed. I’m not good at this, but I love this baby. It was just like all right. We can do this. So it…it’s been a journey, and I’m still on it. But it’s beautiful.
Elisa: I think the ambivalence you’re expressing is so normal and…and Eryn, you as well and me. One of the things that happens, I love this quote. “When a child is born, a mother is born as well.” So whether that child’s born through adoption or through marriage or through birth, you know, or through grandparenting, that you enter a new role. And Eryn, you started out talking about that. You know the…the embrace of the identity. You know, in your early thirties, Mary Jo, you go from being an all-sufficient, if you will, you know, woman to a mom who wants to cry more than her baby does. You know, and…and you know, Eryn, you’re adapting to a marriage and children. And…and I know for me, it’s…it’s been the same thing. And…and if I had to put my finger on something that expresses the, oh the struggle or the surprise of motherhood, it’s…it’s maybe the lack of control. You know I…I…I am a very self-motivated, proactive human being. But you can’t…you can’t predict what your children are going to need when. This is a really raw thing I want to share. But it touches on the imp…imposter syndrome too which I think is basically thinking we’re all supposed to just know how to do whatever it is we’re supposed to be doing, and nobody knows. You know…
Eryn: Puts pressure on us, yeah.
Elisa: …God…God gives babies and children to people every time who’ve never been parents before. I mean I used to giggle and say, why doesn’t He give them to the grandparents? Cause we know what to do. But He doesn’t. And He forms us as much as He forms them. But I remember early on in my daughter’s life. She was oh gosh, maybe three months old. And I remember one of my friends who was a mothering mentor to me said, Elisa, you’re just gonna experience such joy. Just look deep into her eyes, and she’ll show you who she is. You’ll see yourself staring back from her eyes. Guess what? I looked deep in her eyes, and I didn’t recognize her. Because she’s not from my womb. And that one piece of advice really scared me, but it also taught me that our job as mothers is to look deep into their eyes. And maybe we’ll see pieces of ourselves. But mainly what we’re gonna see is who that child is. And maybe it’ll fit like in your constellation, Eryn, where there’s a, you know, the three siblings lined up. And you have some familiarity. Or maybe it’ll be a total stranger, a different gender like…like yours, MJ, you know. And oh my gosh, it’s a little boy I’m looking at you know. I don’t know. But all this ambivalence, all this lack of control is so normal. If…if anybody hears anything from our conversation, is that this is normal. We all go through it for the first time all by ourselves and how much we need each other and the honesty of these words.
Eryn: One thing comes to mind when I was…I was reading a book specific to helping step-moms learn how to love while they are waiting to be loved back and…
Elisa: Oh, that’s such a beautiful task, yeah.
Eryn: Oh, and the thing that it kept pointing out too that I think every mother can identify with, every grandmother can identify with, every mentor can identify with, is recognizing when you trade your trust and your dependence on God with your self-sufficiency and your abilities and what you know and your skills. And the…the thing that it kept pointing out to me in myself was that I’m a go-getter, you know. And I…and I…I go for things. And I clearly, I read books. I’m talking to all bonus moms all over the world. I’m like interviewing, taking notes. How can I learn? How can I make things better? Make things…or understand my own growth. Or and then there’s a quiet whisper that’s loud over my thoughts where it’s like the Lord is bringing me back to learning how to trust and depend on Him with the choices that I make, how I think about myself, how I think about myself in responding to a child. Like those…those are the little things that I’m…I’m…I’m learning that I think that everybody can identify with that we operate sometimes more on our self-sufficiency which then just makes us so exhausted and emotionally drained.
Elisa: Don’t you think the parallel between ourselves being parents and God being our parent is made abundantly more clear when we become parents? You know, suddenly I look at Him and I go oh, I must really frustrate You. You know, oh, You must really be heartbroken when I run headlong into this, that, or the other choice. Oh, You do want my best. And I…I think parenting, mothering a child helps me have great respect for our good God who knows best and yet gives us so much slack.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: And yet He’s always there.
Mary Jo: Well and it’s funny, Eryn, cause I love having this conversation right now because so much of what you’re saying as a…as a new bonus mom is completely reflecting the process of the baby time too. Because when you were talking about the book title, what was it?
Eryn: It’s called Waiting to Be Wanted.
Mary Jo: That was one of my biggest struggles in those first few months was I mean there’s that feeling of connection with your baby and that sort of thing. But something was hurting me, because I didn’t feel like he felt that connection back to me. And you know, part of it is like they can smell the mom and that sort of thing. But part of it is he can’t see that far. So like I’m like does he even like me?
Eryn: He literally cannot see.
Mary Jo: Yes, right.
Elisa: Yes, yes.
Mary Jo: And…and so I…I would…I just felt like he didn’t love me. And so it was this weird feeling of waiting for him to love me as much as I loved him. But that also feels weird. And so exactly what Elisa is saying though was this feeling now of how often does that happen for God when He’s…He’s waiting for us to talk with Him or to look up at Him or to acknowledge He’s been here the whole time? And the main thing is God’s not going anywhere. He’s here with us. And so thinking about that in a motherhood journey, it’s like okay. So whether it’s a toddler being angry or a 14-year-old being angry and just having these…these troubles and not wanting to talk to mom or not wanting to be around, you know, it’s like we can still be there and encourage them or however you know reflect God in that. And on top of all of that too, Elisa, with what you were saying in the new understanding then of…of God through motherhood, I really love The Chosen. And you know you can read whether it’s the Nativity story or Jesus growing up, and you can be like, yeah, Mary and Joseph were there—cool, whatever. But seeing the physical representation of Mary and Jesus on screen together and now having a baby boy, like I’m getting emotional right now just thinking about the love Mary had for Jesus as her Son.
Elisa: Beautiful.
Mary Jo: And also knowing Him to be the Savior. It’s this feeling that like I can’t fully comprehend, cause Milo’s just a baby. He’s just a normal man baby. He’s not the Son of God. But just being able to relate and sense like okay, as much as I love my son, Mary was in this boat as well. But she had to watch what her Son was going to go through in order to save the world. And it’s…I don’t…I can’t even describe that feeling. It’s…it’s beautiful, but it…it’s hard.
Elisa: Sacrificial.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: You know, sacrifice is an enormous part of motherhood. And as we’re laying the concepts of identity formation, of us as women who are now mothers, okay, whoa. I mean that’s a huge morph, okay? Now put the sacrifice on top of that. You know, what has surprised you about your ability to sacrifice in mothering?
Eryn: I was married. No children. I go through my divorce, date, single as a pringle, just single all the time.
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: And thinking that maybe, maybe I’ll have children. Maybe I won’t. I have no idea what the Lord has planned for me. So I learned a lot of like selfish ways of just…or maybe not selfish ways but just independent of just me and just la, la, la, me, me, and I’m just taking care of me. And then it’s like all of a sudden, you’re in a relationship, becomes serious. Then you meet the children, and then you learn how much you love the children. And then you’re like, oh my gosh, I want them to be my children. And that whole journey, knowing that God was a part of every step of it, what surprised me was how easy it was for me to release myself and grasp onto a new self, a new identity that God was shaping within me. It surprised me that it was easier for me to be like I’m so excited to go shopping. And I’m so excited to make sure that they’ve got lunch taken care of. Or I’m so excited that they need leggings. That was easy for me to walk into, and I was very surprised by that.
Elisa: That’s beautiful, Eryn.
Mary Jo: It’s been fascinating for me to understand the sacrifice. I’ve watched all my friends do this. Like a lot of my friends have had kids before me. So I’ve watched them have to go through it. And I, as the single person, was able to be there for them. And so I think that’s been tough for me is to now be the person going through it and to allow other people to be there for me because of how little I can now do. I am still working full-time. And that’s what our story has to be right now, and I enjoy it. And Russ works full-time. And my parents are around to help us. And that’s something we are able to do. But it is sacrificing time with my child as well. So I’m sacrificing in different ways. I’m sacrificing…
Elisa: That’s rich.
Mary Jo: …yes. It is guilt-inducing, because the fact that I’m working full-time makes me feel guilty that I can’t be taking care of my baby as a full-time mom. When I’m with my baby and I do have a full-time job, I feel guilty. Oh should I be working on this instead? And so it’s been a strange feeling of waiting for the balance to come. I remember maybe nine months into the postpartum journey driving home from work with Milo in the back seat, and I was processing all of this stuff. I hadn’t processed it for a while, cause I was just waiting for everything to feel normal again. And I…I was like oh wait, this is the normal.
Eryn: That’s right.
Mary Jo: Like I’m not waiting for anything…
Eryn: That’s right.
Mary Jo: …anymore. This is it.
Elisa: Yeah.
Mary Jo: So there are things that I’m sacrificing by working and being a full-time worker, full-time mom. I don’t get to be as social. I’m very grateful because the people I work with are family to me. And so I have a social outlet. But the things I’m sacrificing, to me I’m sacrificing the extra time I had outside of the home. But I love being at the home with my family so much. Like I think it’s awesome to do jarred food and pouches and all those things. I love to cook though. So it’s been so fun for me to take the extra time to make those things. And for other people, that would be the sacrifice would be putting the time into that. For me, it’s saying no to other things just so that I can cook, and I’m excited about that. You know, so it’s strange how the word sacrifice, where we are saying goodbye. We’re taking things out. But it’s so that we can be opened up for other things and other possibilities. So it doesn’t feel like a negative. But I still am…I get sad when I think about the things that aren’t there. But I’m so grateful the things that are too.
Eryn: Yeah. That’s a really good word.
Elisa: I love that. That is so beautiful. And the reality is that a sacrifice is definitely a loss, but it’s also something new to be gained. I mean you both expressed that. You know, Eryn’s talking about getting to shop for leggings, and you’re talking about, you know, cooking. And it’s so funny to hear that. And…and I can remember being just freaked when my daughter, as a teen, became pregnant. And you know, the Lord just goes, Elisa, it’s a life. And I can remember so many times. I mean I was busy. I was working full-time. I thought I’d you know done with the mothering thing. And here I am helping in the first couple of years of my grandson’s life. And that would look like sacrifice. But oh what joy. I mean he would, as a toddler, take his little lawn mower [sound effect] you know, his little Fischer Price [sound effects] you know up and down the driveway. Do again, Ya Ya? Do again, Ya Ya? Sure, let’s do it again. I could have cared less. We could do it 492 times. Because I knew, you know, in another two years, he wasn’t gonna be doing that lawn mower because I was on the other side of it. It all counts. It all matters. And you talked about your guilt of being at home and your guilt at being at work. You know that perma-guilt is that flip side of the mothering identity as well, you know. Before we were moms, we had the same kinds of “I’m not enough in the work” or “I’m not enough for anybody to be attracted to me and get married” or “I’m not enough just to stand on my own.” This is part of life. It just has new clothes on now that we’re mothering. So what are the best parts of mothering?
Mary Jo: Right now, cause this is going to change every two weeks, cause that’s the stage that my baby is in is everything is different every two weeks. But right now, my favorite is “mornings with Milo”, is what Russ and I have called it for the last probably nine months.
Elisa: Cute.
Mary Jo: Russ stays up later than I do and can take, if Milo wakes up, he’ll take that shift. But I wake up early so that I can get some work done and also be there for my baby when he wakes up. And it is my favorite thing. If I’m working in the living room, and I see him on the little video monitor, and he’s rolling around and he’s like oh, slowly waking up. And then he stands at his crib, and he just starts talking. And I go in there, and it is the biggest smile on his face to see mama. And I love it too, cause Russ will get notifications on his phone. Oh, someone’s spotted in the nursery. And so he’ll like go and look and see the reaction on Milo’s face. And it’s just like the most precious moment. Because for me, finding little joys in life can be really hard. And at this stage for Milo, it’s so easy. And he…he feels that joy. He expresses that joy. And that allows me to be able to take a breath and know like, whatever’s going on in my life, I got that smile for that moment, you know.
Elisa: Love that.
Eryn: I remember early on when Matt and I first started dating. And we had the conversation of like, do you want kids? You know he was asking me, cause he has daughters. And I told him, you know, I’ve always had a surrendered heart to that question. I never dated to pursue, I have to have this picture, and it has to look this way. I just trusted that God would rebuild in the way that He wants. And whatever man He has for me, that story will unfold. And I am truly surrendered to that. So when we started talking about children, he said to me, my girls have a mom. The pressure for you to be a mom, I want to go ahead and release that. And I was grateful for that, because not that I was putting pressure on me, but I think it’s very important for me to know where his heart was that the girls have a mom. So I don’t need to be in the same space. I don’t have to. I don’t h…I don’t have to…I can learn a different way of mothering and be maternal and have those maternal instincts come out. And…and it’s…that’s why I like to say I’m a bonus, because they have a mom. So when I think about, you know, what are some of the joys of mothering, I think about this zone that I’m in, this space that I’m in. And it’s…it’s such an honor to be an influence on these girls’ lives and practice some of these principles that my…my parents instilled in us girls. And then also, honestly, watch Matt lead in the way that he leads the household and loving the girls and empowering my voice and…and encouraging me on the side of. You know and I’ll come to him like, oh my gosh. I don’t know. Is that wrong? Is that good? Is that good parenting? Is that bad parenting? I don’t know. You know and he…and just like that is I find so much joy out of that. Cause it’s…this is truly a new territory for me, and I’m finding so much joy in the new territory of asking these questions. But I would say that God trusts me to steward my influence on their lives in empowering them in their voices and in their own individualities.
Elisa: Let’s just take our own little niche, okay. What would you say to a new mom, Mary Jo? What would you say to a new step-mom or to a step-mom, Eryn?
Mary Jo: One thing I want to start with for this encouragement is that it’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to mourn, especially I think there’s this transitional time. And it’s okay to mourn past things. I started with that in the earlier part of this conversation, and I want to make sure people know this isn’t…this hasn’t been a sad journey for me. But there’s been sadness in it. I’m so happy with my baby, and I’m so happy to be a mom. And I…I can’t picture it any differently right now. But there can be sad days, sad moments throughout happy days. That’s life in general. It just feels heightened as postpartum situations occur. So I…I want to encourage women to hear that. You’re not alone in that. And I just want you to reach out to talk to somebody about that. I’m prone to anxiety and depression. I felt prepared for postpartum. And I think I did it well. But looking back, I didn’t realize how much I struggled, because I’m used to it, right? And so…
Eryn: Yeah, [inaudible].
Mary Jo: …I could have asked for more help. And that’s a regret of mine. I want you to also consider all of the happy moments that are gonna come. There are so many beautiful like milestones. We call them Milo-stones in my house.
Eryn: Aw, that’s super cute.
Elisa: I like that.
Mary Jo: And you’re gonna miss some of them. But you are going to be a part of so many. And so to be able to just have those moments, enjoy it at the time, and celebrate. And then also know, it’s not gonna last, and you’re gonna have new ones in the next week. And that’s part of life as well. That’s part of growing up. The main thing that I would say is just to talk to people about the joys and the sorrows. Because it is a…it’s a roller coaster of a job, but it’s so beautiful. And it’s a ride that you would choose to go on again.
Elisa: Even if you’re a single mom. You weren’t meant to do it all alone. I mean God created somebody to have a relationship with somebody so that there is a somebody. But you know, so even if those relationships aren’t exactly all together now, the reality is there are other people around you who would like to be involved and who can help.
Eryn: For me, the piece of advice that I would give somebody that is in the space of step-mom or maybe potentially becoming step-mom, you can only control what you can control. You cannot control how people are going to respond to you in this new space.
Elisa: That’s so good.
Eryn: Whether it’s the children processing. They’re all on their journey, and they all process differently. And even if externally they’re polite, internally they’re processing. And it is so important for you to know that your identity is not found in their emotional response. Your identity is found in who God is in your life. And if He is placing you in this space, He is placing you in this space. And be confident in that and just seek guidance and wisdom and therapy and conversations with God on how to hold emotions that are being processed with the sweet children that you have now been stewarded to love. And then I would also say you can’t control externally other things, whether it’s co-parenting or it’s…you can only control again what you can control. And God wants to help you be in that space. He wants the invitation. And it’s…it’s learning. It goes to that self-sufficiency. I spoke on it because it’s something that I’ve just seen and learned. And I feel like we’re on the journey of going, God, we trust You. We will control what we can control.
Elisa: But you know that’s a really important principle. And it’s one that God taught me so repeatedly, repetitively just that I’m not responsible for my children’s choices. I’m responsible for my responses to their choices. And that’s what you’re saying. You know, we can’t control things we can’t control. But we can control the things we can control. And you know so maybe a big picture thing I would share is don’t take yourself too seriously. I mean the reality is yeah, you have been chosen to be a mom role in this child’s life, whether it’s you know, for eternity, here, or it’s, you know, a year or two, you know, whatever. You have been, and it’s an im…a huge calling. And it’s an identity-former for you and for them. But the reality is too is that you’re not perfect. And God’s gonna use you. And He’s got them more than you ever can hope to. There’s nowhere they can go that He is not. And you don’t want to make them think that you’re god. You want them to see their need for God, and that God’s not you.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: So God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, and we’re not going to be. And He can use even our, I used to call them Swiss cheese holes to reveal our kids’ needs for Himself.
Mary Jo: As we close, I also want to mention this is a Mother’s Day episode. We wanted to talk about being moms. But this is a really hard day for a lot of women whether they’ve lost babies, had miscarriages, were unable to have children. I just want to share my respect and love for all of my aunts and mentors out there.
Elisa: The other very difficult reality is for those whose moms are gone, and we miss them deeply. Or maybe we never got to finish growing up in that relationship, and they died at an incomplete relationship. We can’t address every single one of these amazingly beautiful human experiences. But the reality is, we want to acknowledge them. And we want to say, you know, even the three of us probably represent about everything. But there are so many listening, and we need each other. And let’s stay connected to each other no matter how different we might appear at times.
[music]
Eryn: Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms and mentors our there. We hope you feel so loved and celebrated today for all you do.
Elisa: Thanks for joining this conversation. Be sure to check out our website and subscribe to our email list. You can find that and more at godhearsher.org. That’s godhearsher.org.
Eryn: Thank you for joining us, and don’t forget. God hears you. He sees you. And He loves you because you are His.
[music]
Elisa: Today’s episode was engineered by Anne Stevens and produced by Jade Gustman. We also want to thank all the moms out there for taking the time to listen to our podcast. Thanks, everyone.
Eryn: God Hears Her is a production of Our Daily Bread Ministries.
Show Notes
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“There are so many ways to become a mother: adopting, fostering, becoming a stepmom or what I like to say “bonus mom,” and we want to make space for each experience.”—Eryn Eddy Adkins
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“I felt sad. I was mourning the loss of my old life. And then feeling immense guilt and shame because I loved this new baby so much, and I didn’t want to feel sad.”—Mary Jo Clark
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“If I had to put my finger on something that expresses the struggle or surprise of motherhood, it’s the lack of control.”—Elisa Morgan
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“The Lord is bringing me back to learning how to trust and depend on Him with the choices I make.”—Eryn Eddy Adkins
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“Sacrifice is an enormous part of motherhood.”—Elisa Morgan
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“It’s such an honor to be an influence on these girls’ lives. God trusts me to steward my influence on their lives and empower them in their voices and their own individuality.”—Eryn Eddy Adkins
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“Talk to people about the joys and the sorrows because it’s a rollercoaster of a job (motherhood), but it’s so beautiful.”—Mary Jo Clark
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“Your identity is not found in their emotional response.”—Eryn Eddy Adkins
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“I’m not responsible for my children’s choices. I’m responsible for my responses to their choices.”—Elisa Morgan
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“God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. And we’re not going to be. God can use our “Swiss cheese holes” to reveal our kids’ needs for Himself.”—Elisa Morgan
Links Mentioned
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God Hears Her website
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God Hears Her newsletter sign-up
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Share the love by giving this episode a 5-star episode on iTunes!
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Order God Sees Her: 365 Devotions for Women by Women on Amazon
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Elisa’s Instagram: elisa morgan author
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Eryn’s Instagram: eryneddy
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Mary Jo’s Instagram: sugarcoated.bymj
About the Guest(s)
Mary Jo Clark
After years of working in bakeries, coffee shops, and food trucks, Mary Jo Clark returned to her love of audio production and sharing stories. She is now a podcast producer and engineer for Our Daily Bread Ministries. Outside of her passion for creating excellent podcasts to encourage women, she is a talented baker. Her cookies and cupcakes are described by many as “legendary.” She’s married to her husband Russ, and they are proud parents of a beautiful one-year-old boy named Milo.
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One Response
I am a PROUD Mother of two Beautiful adult Mothers. God allow me to experience the commitment to give my life to these human beings and all the mystery. I am grateful for the Journey and story of each one. I know it’s hard for them to believe how much I love them because I want them to have the best. I later realize God has the Best.