Your True Worth
About this Episode
Episode Summary
Our worth comes from the sacrifice that Jesus made for us because of the love God has for us. But what does it mean to accept that we are worthy? What does life look like when we see ourselves as worthy because of who God made us to be? Cassandra Speer, the vice president of the ministry Her True Worth, shares with hosts Eryn Eddy-Adkins and Elisa Morgan about what it means to accept our worthiness and live in the truth of the Lord on this episode of God Hears Her.
Episode Transcript
God Hears Her Podcast
Episode 125 – Your True Worth
Elisa Morgan & Eryn Eddy with Cassandra Speer
[Music]
Cassandra: We wanted to point women to the worth and value found in their identity in Christ. And more so, we wanted to talk to the pinpoints of all the reasons and experiences as to why we feel as though we have to work for our worth.
[Music]
Voice: You’re listening to God Hears Her, a podcast for women where we explore the stunning truth that God hears you, He sees you, and He loves you because you are His. Find out how these realities free you today on God Hears Her.
Elisa: Welcome to God Hears Her. I’m Elisa Morgan.
Eryn: And I’m Eryn Eddy-Atkins. Let me ask you a hard question. Do you believe that you are worthy? Why do you believe that? Why don’t you believe it?
Elisa: Today we’re talking with the vice president of the ministry Her True Worth. Cassandra Speer has some amazing things to share with us about how to accept that we are worthy, and live in the truth that we are valuable because of God’s love for us.
Eryn: Unfortunately, the founder of Her True Worth, Brittany Maher, couldn’t be with us for this conversation. She was so disappointed to miss it, and we are so bummed we didn’t get a chance to meet her. We love you and the work you do, Britt. Now, let’s get to know Cass before we dive into this conversation on God Hears Her.
Cassandra: Brittany founded Her True Worth back in 2015, and she was doing so out of the heart of wanting to know and discover her own value in Christ and her own identity in Christ. And so, she started with that yearning in her own heart, and it caught like wildfire, because it turns out there’s a lot of us out there who truly have dealt with the heartache of feeling worthless and feeling like our lives don’t have value for any number of reasons. And it was resonating with a lot of people, and… Brittany was able to grow our community of hearts and lives to about a hundred and thirty, hundred and forty thousand women, which… I can’t fit that many people into my living room, I mean, that’s a lot of people that she was ministering to, and it was just incredible. She was stewarding that up until 2018 when she reached out to me, and she had seen something on the Instagram, and it had resonated with her heart. And at the time, I had thought that she had found something I had written from a mutual friend, because I was guest writing for a different ministry. And it turned out she just found little ol’ me out there on the interwebs, telling people about Jesus. And…
Elisa: Wow.
Cassandra: … she reached out and she said, you know, I’ve just been praying a lot and I feel like this is something that God’s asking me to not carry on my own, and I feel certain that I’m supposed to add writers, and diverse voices, and vantage points, and experiences, and she wanted to know if I would be interested in writing for her. And so, I did, I had just finished writing for a mutual friend, and that’s how it began as far as my involvement. I started as a writer…
Elisa: Wow.
Cassandra: … and it was… one of the very first writers… other than Brittany, of course, which she’s an, I don’t know if y’all have ever looked at her personal page, but she’s a phenomenal artist, she’s so talented. She has such a really unique vision and way to capture people in just a glance. You know, cause we have such a short attention span on the internet…
Eryn: Yeah. That’s so true.
Cassandra: … and I think she does that so beautifully, and she really weaves word of hope and captures people with color, and it’s just a really cool thing that I get to partner with her in doing, and… shortly after joining as a writer, she had asked me if I would be willing to co-lead with her. And at that point, I think we had grown to about a two hundred and fifty thousand women that we were serving at that point in time. And I remember a lot of reverence and hesitancy about it to be honest, because I hadn’t necessarily set out to do something of that magnitude. I just wanted to show up with what I had and honor God with that where I was at. And… God really took us for a ride. So, I’ve had the privilege of co-leading with Brittany ever since, and we were able to birth a book out of it, and it’s just been such an incredible privilege and ride and His sovereignty has been all over it. I don’t… I don’t think I could have ever strategized my way into the position that I’m in.
Eryn: I love that she found you random. You know, it was like it… but not random, right? It was, like, the Lord obviously aligning Himself in a way for you both to find each other, and I would love to know, prior to all of this, you know, you said you’re a writer. Were you a writer growing up? Tell us about Cass as a little girl… were you, like, into poetry? What… tell… tell me all the things.
Elisa: And even touch on, if you can, why did you feel worthless, you know, if you can weave that in there, too. Yeah.
Cassandra: Absolutely. Yeah. I think it’s nearly impossible to write a book about worth, which, Eryn I know you know this, without grappling with the fact that you’ve felt worthless. And that was probably… probably one of the most difficult parts that I don’t think anyone really understands going into it, or… I think more seasoned writers definitely, but for me, I had to retouch those places of, like, younger Cass’s upbringing. And for me, I’ve always loved reading. I’ve loved writing privately in journals, it’s always been a coping mechanism for me. I’ve genuinely failed most spelling tests that I ever took growing up. If there was a vote for, like, least likely to become an author, I’m fairly certain I probably would have won that… that title.
Elisa: I love that.
Eryn: Hey, you are in good company. I feel so seen right now. [Laughter.]
Elisa: Yes.
Cassandra: It’s a clear indication, because I’ve always had a love for the written words, I’ve always loved reading fiction as a child, and I’ve always written my emotions in a cathartic way in journals, But writing publicly was never something, like, it wasn’t a seed in my heart of something that I’d always wanted to do. It was something that I always did private, in my own life. And growing up, I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, my family, I’ve since, now, I’m thirty-three years old, I’ve since, now, had the privilege of seeing the majority of my immediate biological family come to know Christ. But growing up and into my twenties, everyone would joke a lot about when I had become a Christian that I was the white sheep of the family. It was definitely a difficult thing, because… growing up I didn’t have a lot of knowledge of the… what God says…
Eryn: Yeah.
Cassandra: … and I had grown up in a atmosphere that was very abusive, there was a lot of neglect, a lot of abandonment issues, and addiction going on. And there’s basically, I mean, long story short, childhood trauma that I had to go through prolonged exposure therapy, which I still, as a mother of three, I still go to therapy weekly.
Eryn: What kind of therapy is that? For somebody that’s listening that may not know what that.
Cassandra: Absolutely. So, prolonged exposure therapy is a, one of many techniques that therapists will use, trauma-informed therapists will use. And for anybody who’s wondering, like, what is trauma? Trauma is, I am not a therapist, but I’m going to give you my best explanation of trauma, is a life-altering event or events that have taken place that you carry with you throughout your life. And that can be any number of things. For me, it was childhood trauma, and prolonged exposure therapy is basically where you go from, mine was complex trauma, but the best way to do it would say there’s one event, and you unpack that one event over and over again, and then you discuss your triggers from that event. Which a trigger is any number of physical or mental responses that you would have to said trauma trigger. And then you tackle those triggers one at a time with in vivos, which means in life, and so you would take these assignments over, mine was over several months, and you tackle those triggers until they no longer run your life.
Elisa: Wow, I’m hearing layering, and I think that’s how we learn. You know, it… I… I just… we think it’s going to be a quick fix, especially when we know Jesus, you know, He’s just going to heal us and off we go, we’re never struggle again. But I so appreciate the layering, the process, the patience that much be involved with this. So, thank you. Thank you for helping us understand that better.
Cassandra: Oh, it’s my privilege. I’m really grateful that I was able to do it, cause it changed my life and I think outside of knowing Jesus, it’s probably one of the most transformative things I’ve done is to care for my… my mental health in that way.
Elisa: So, take us forward, what else do we need to know about Cass?
Cassandra: I think that I’ve always had a heart for the downtrodden. Like, I think I’ve always had a minister heart, even before I knew Jesus, and I think that creativity’s always been something that I’ve utilized as a skill and as a hobby. I was a hair and makeup artist, I was a color specialist for over a decade…
Elisa: Wow.
Eryn: Wow! Okay, that’s fun, we didn’t even know about that in your story.
Cassandra: So, I did hair and makeup for over a decade, and Brittany was actually in the beauty and fitness industry before she did ministry…
Elisa: Okay.
Cassandra: … and I think that time that I spent doing hair and makeup really did genuinely give me a lot of advantages as far as knowing how to grab peoples attention and know their hearts in a way that is unique. Because when you see a hair stylist, it’s kind of like a hair-apist appointment, you know?
Eryn: I was about to say…
Cassandra: So…
Eryn: … I was talking with a girlfriend about… she’s a hairdresser, and she was saying, I have to learn how to let the weight off of what I have of absorbed all day, and leave it in the chair, and it’s very hard to do. So, now she prays over her chair for the people…
Elisa: That’s beautiful.
Eryn: … that come, and then she prays over it as she leaves work. It’s… it’s true.
Elisa: You know, there’s something that happens when you let somebody touch your hair, you know. There is a trust built. Yeah, but I love that, hair-apist. That’s hysterical. Okay.
Cassandra: So, during the time period not long after Brittany had reached out to me, I had just started my blog, and the blog was started out of my coping, using words, coping with my sons premature delivery and his NICU stay. He was two months early…
Eryn: Wow.
Cassandra: … eight weeks…
Elisa: Wow.
Cassandra: … and he spent, you know, he couldn’t suck, swallow, or breathe on his own without machines, and during that time was one of the most pivotal transitions in my married life and as a mother in my adult live, because we had moved from Texas to Oklahoma. We were selling a home and buying a home, and… my husband who is prior military, and during that time God really used that writing, that coping skill that I had as a child, as an outlet to bring Him glory, but also to bring myself comfort, and in doing so comforting others. You know, because that’s how the Holy Spirit works. We extend the comfort that we have actually been given. And Brittany found me during that period of time. And I went to a writer’s conference in Waco, Texas, and the week that Brittany and I had our meeting, I was learning how to write a book proposal in Waco, Texas. I can’t make it up, like, it’s just the wildest thing.
Eryn: That’s crazy.
Elisa: Your life, it’s decorated with stunning epiphanies of God. That’s beautiful. And… and… and Cass, you know, I’d… I’d love for you to take us into the moment, cause Eryn and I have a personal interest in this, describe the moment when you first met Brittany face to face.
Cassandra: Oh, my goodness. We sobbed. It was October of 2018, or October 2019, man, everything’s a blur after the pandemic to be honest with you.
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: I know. It’s like right… was it right before the world shut down kind of? Yeah.
Cassandra: It’s before the… It was before the world shut down, like quite a bit before the world shut down…
Eryn: Okay.
Cassandra: … it was in the fall, and we were in the beginning stages of seeing God’s increase, and seeing God’s rapid growth of our community, and I remember us sitting on my front porch in Oklahoma City, and we wanted to do a video together, cause that’s what you do, right? Like, we’re friends in real life, we gotta do a photo, we gotta do a video. We couldn’t get it together. We were just so happy to be in each other’s presence, and so overwhelmed by what God was doing that we could not hold our tears in. We just… such happy tears, but it was, like, the moment of, there you are. You know, like, cause we’d been working long distance from each other for so long, and we knew each other so well for not being in person.
Elisa: Thank you. These are moments when you know that God has set something up for His purpose, for His timing, you know, for as long or as short as that would be, this is what He has done. And there is a… it didn’t happen all the time, but a lot of people can point to a few moments like that in their lives. Now, I… can you take us forward and… and let’s… let’s understand more about the mission of Her True Worth, and what you guys are trying to do together. I mean, you… you were talking about two hundred and fifty thousand women, but you’re more like a million and a half or something now. It just keeps kabooming…
Cassandra: Yes.
Elisa: … which is, in itself, so important to pay attention to. What a felt need this is.
Cassandra: Thank you. It’s something that we have a lot of reverence, and it’s very weighty, the stewardship of so many hearts and souls and lives, and it is… nothing… it can’t escape our grasp, our thoughts, that it’s… it’s purely God. Because there is no growth strategy that can out strategize God. He knew of the hearts yearning for worth and value. And that’s our mission, and that’s been Brittany’s mission from the moment that she founded the ministry, was that we wanted to point women to the worth and value found in their identity in Christ. And more so, we wanted to talk to the pinpoints of all the reasons and experiences as to why we feel as though we have to work for our worth. Or that it can be revoked. And all the messages that say that we have to chase after this every day, that we have to earn it. And we want women to be able to live from worth securely, instead of living for it.
Elisa: What are some of those reasons that falsify our worth? You know, I’m… I’m sure messages in our world that we listen to, but I mean, as… as you guys address them, how do you express those issues?
Cassandra: So, for Brittany and I personally, Brittany, admittedly in our book and publicly, talks about… a lot about people pleasing, and where she finds her worth and her value, she’s only as valuable as her yes. Or she’s only as worthy as her availability. Or what she can produce with her hands. And for me, I dealt with feeling as though the circumstances of my conception or my passage into the world, my mom was a fifteen-year-old foster child living in a group home when she got pregnant with me. There were a lot of experiences in my life that told me that I shouldn’t be here, or that my existence was an inconvenience, or that love is conditional. And that can make you feel worthless after a lifetime of being exposed to that. For our community, there is a vast variety of different reasons that women feel worthless, but I think that the underlining problem that so many of us deal with is our identity, who we are, and where that comes from. And there’s so many counterfeit identities that the enemy likes to use, whether it’s relationships, roles, responsibilities, success, outward, inward, the scale…
Eryn: Yeah.
Cassandra: … all of these things, that we utilize and cling to as counterfeits for the real thing, because it is so hard for us to understand that we can’t earn this.
Eryn: Yeah.
Cassandra: And the bottom line is that our best is but filthy rags compared to God’s glory. But it’s such a relief when we realize that our best and worst moments are actually not the defining moments of our worth, but on the cross, completed, that is where our worth is found.
Eryn: That’s so beautiful, Cass. Will you take me to the moment when you, for the first time, truly received that truth?
Cassandra: Yes. I was… nineteen years old, and I was living on my own. I had recently ended a four-year relationship that I thought was going to end up in marriage, because I lived in the… I live in the Bible belt, and everyone I knew was getting married at this point. I had lost my job, I was about to lose my apartment, and I was in the back of this college twenties church, which I… the best way I can describe it is that it’s… if the Christian scene had a club scene, this church was it. Like the… the scent of Axe in the air, I don’t know if y’all are familiar with that body spray…
Elisa: Oh sure! Yeah.
Cassandra: … but, like, the scent of Axe in the air, and the fog, and the… the club lights, and like…
Elisa: Oh. Oh, wow.
Cassandra: … but… but the Holy Spirit was present in that place…
Eryn: Yeah.
Cassandra: … and as a new believer, I remember being in the back of the worship service, and I was so upset with God, disappointed with life, and I remember really, honestly, forming a complaint against God, and sitting there and saying, you know, I don’t understand why nothing seems to be going right, and everyone says that You’re good, but life is not. And I am following You, and I don’t understand, like, do You even see me?…
Eryn: Yeah.
Cassandra: … Do you even hear me? And I remember for the first time in my entire life audibly feeling the presence of God, and being reminded of all of the moments where I was, indeed, seen; and I was, indeed, heard; and I was, indeed, rescued; and I was, indeed, provided for. And that was the first time. And I’ve never looked back. That was the first time that I felt God, not only lovingly correct me, but also comfort me.
Eryn: Yeah.
Cassandra: And it changes everything.
Elisa: I can hear the change in your voice, and being seen and known by Him is unlike any other relationship. One of the ways I came to see it for myself, cause who doesn’t just look inside themselves and go [sound of disgust]. You know, one of the ways I… I came to see it is that it’s when John the Baptist baptized Jesus, and He dipped down into the Jordan River, and He comes back up and the Heavenly Father, His Heavenly Father says, “This is my Son, my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” And when we dip ourselves into a relationship with Christ… you know, I think God sees us through Jesus…
Cassandra: Yeah.
Elisa: … and that is so freeing to understand. He sees us as beloved, because He sees us through Jesus.
Cassandra: Yeah, and our enemy sees us as our sin. And he… so quickly reminds us. And that’s the shame and the condemnation. But the conviction and the… the forgiveness of God is so much more heavy and victorious, because I feel like the enemy every day will remind us of the places we’ve been and the things that we’ve done. And when we are able to remind ourselves, through being in the Word, of what’s already been done on the cross, it draws us, it’s God’s lovingkindness that draws us to repentance. It’s the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Elisa: Isn’t that beautiful? We think that it… God’s going to just judge us, and that’s why we’re going to say we’re sorry, but it’s His kindness…
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: … that draws us towards… closer and closer to Him. Not His judgment, His kindness…
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: … because He loves us.
Eryn: We have an episode where we talk about spiritual apathy, and how sometimes we can just, you know, become a little bit desensitized or numb or… and we don’t even recognize that, you know, we get on autopilot. We just, life just happens, right? We just go at it day to day. And I… I see that just parallel to us understanding our worth. For me, understanding my identity and my worth through Jesus came with anger, resentment, came with some heavy, dark things that I… choices that I had made, and… kind of being at the end of myself, being burnt out. And for some reason, like, for… like that… that happened. And that was so, so hard to go through that. And I… I don’t discredit my story, but sometimes I find it… it’s harder… to understand my worth after I’ve understood my worth, because you… you get on autopilot, you become numb…
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: … maybe you become, you know, you think you got it now. You know, like, I’m good now. You know, like, I know the big stuff I got through, so the little things I don’t notice. So, I… I would love for you to share as… maybe somebody’s listening, and they’re, like, you know, I don’t have anything big or significant that has happened in my life for me to understand my worth. I… I know it, but I still, sometimes, don’t, you know, quote unquote feel it. I know Jesus isn’t a feeling, but sometimes it happens with us. Would you speak to that woman that… that may be in that same space that I have been in? We’ve all been in, where we’ve kind of become desensitized to knowing our worth after we’ve accepted, and knowing our worth.
Cassandra: Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that, too, cause I can definitely relate to it, and I feel like as believers, and… I feel like it can feel taboo, so I just want to honor and thank you for your honesty in that, because it is something that I also deal with. And I know that Brittany, as well, has dealt with this. And the bottom line for us, when you’re finding your place in the position of questioning your worth, or you’ve gone through the hard things and you’re starting to not necessarily waver, right? But you’ve… So easily we forget. And the truth of the matter is is that with our identity as dearly-loved daughters of God, we also are presented with the truth of having an adversary. And with our identity living from our worth in Christ, instead of chasing after it, we have an adversary that day after day we are at war for our worth in so many different ways. And it’s not always going to be a past victory, it’s going to be a daily taking up your cross, taking up the Word and remembering. Because there’s gonna be moments, like, for instance, with Brittany, she had… shared recently in… and also in the book, that there’s days where she literally has adult temper tantrums. And I’ve never related to anything so much in my life, because as a mother of three children…
Elisa: Yeah.
Cassandra: … I also have temper tantrum of, like…
Elisa: Yeah, my turn. Yeah.
Cassandra: … Yes, like, please put me in time out, and I’ll think to myself, I cannot do this! And… and I know that so many of us, it… maybe it’s not children, maybe it’s work, maybe it’s any… a relationship, a… a frustrating family member, could be any number of things, but those moments where we think, like, who am I to have the audacity to think that I can do this whatever? Fill in the blank that is. And the reminder of the fact that we have an enemy who wants to profit from our pain, wants for us to doubt, and… and it’s not a sin issue to waver. And I just want to…
Elisa: That’s good. Yes. Yes. That’s good.
Cassandra: … encourage anyone who’s hearing this, that if you are wavering on your worth, you’re human, and you’re in good company. And there are going to be days where we mistake the miraculous with the mundane. There are going to be days when we forget who we are in Christ. But this is the most important thing, as long as we know that our identity is in Him, we are secure. It cannot be revoked. And so, there are going to be days like that, where it’s easy to waver. That makes us human. But in Christ we’re secure.
Elisa: What does it look like…
Eryn: So true. So good.
Elisa: … to really accept your worth in Christ? I mean, you can say, I love this phrase, it’s not who I am, it’s whose I am. And yet, each one of us is unique. So, what does it mean to find our worth in Christ as the unique beings that each of us is?
Cassandra: It’s such a unique answer to each individual, but for myself, I personally know that I’m living from worth when I hold God’s Word, and who God is, and His opinion over any other voice.
Eryn: Yes.
Cassandra: Over any other thing. And that I seek first the kingdom of God, and not seek first the approval of man. When I’m living from the affirmation and validation that I get from God first, and I’m not seeking it from people first, that’s how I know that I’m living from worth.
Elisa: Thank you. That’s really helpful.
Eryn: I know the women that you serve in your community, I’m sure there’s faces and names and circumstances that just come to mind. Would you pray over them?
Cassandra: Absolutely. Gracious and Heavenly Father, I just thank You for the opportunity to talk to Your daughters, and point them to the hope and the worth and value that we have in You, in Your Son Jesus. Lord, I ask that You would remind her that she is Your masterpiece in Ephesians 2:10; that she is made in Your image, Genesis 1:27; forgiven and redeemed, 1 John 1:9. Lord, I acknowledge that although the enemy calls us by our sin, You call us by our name, Isaiah 43:1, and that in You, our old lives are gone and we are a new creation, 2 Corinthians 5:17. Lord, I thank You and praise You for the work that You’re doing in our hearts and in our lives. Lord, I thank You that no matter how lost we feel, that we’ve never escaped Your sight. And God, I ask that if there’s anyone under the sound of my voice who is uncertain and feels unworthy of the space that they take in this world, that You would lovingly remind them [Music.] that they are dearly loved. And that Your Son Jesus died for her. Lord, I thank You that as long as we have breath in our lungs that we can call upon You, we seek You, and You are to be found. You are faithful to forgive and meet us where we’re at. No matter how far we wander, there is no place that can escape your lovingkindness. We pray these things in Jesus’ name, amen.
[Music]
Elisa: Thank you for that beautiful prayer, Cass. We’re so grateful for the love that God has for us.
Eryn: You are so worth loving. Be sure to check out the Her True Worth ministry and their new book. You can find that and more on our website at godhearsher.org. That’s godhearsher.org.
Elisa: Thanks for joining us. And don’t forget, God hears you, He sees you, and He loves you because you are His.
[Music]
Eryn: Today’s episode was engineered by Anne Stevens, and produced by Jade Gustman and Mary Jo Clark. We also want to thank Alicia and Rochelle for all their help and support. Thanks everyone!
[Music]
Elisa: God Hears Her is a production of Our Daily Bread Ministries.
Show Notes
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“We wanted to point women to the worth and value in their identity in Christ. . . . And we wanted to talk to the pinpoints of all the reasons and experiences as to why we feel as though we have to work for our worth.” —Cassandra Speer
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“She felt only as valuable as her ‘yes.’ She felt only as worthy as her availability, or what she can produce with her hands.”—Cassandra Speer
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“The underlying problem is our identity. Who we are and where that comes from. And there are so many counter identities the enemy uses.” —Cassandra Speer
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“Our best and worst moments are actually not the defining moments of our worth.” —Cassandra Speer
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“Day after day we are at war for our worth. . . .It is a daily [thing], taking up your cross and remembering.” —Cassandra Speer
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“If you are wavering with yor worth, you are human. . . .But, as long as we know that our identity is in Him, we are secure. It cannot be revoked.” —Cassandra Speer
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“It’s not who I am, it’s whose I am.” – Cassandra Speer
Links Mentioned
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God Hears Her website
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God Hears Her newsletter sign-up
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Share the love by giving this episode a 5-star episode on iTunes!
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Order God Sees Her: 365 Devotions for Women by Women on Amazon
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Elisa’s Instagram: elisamorganauthor
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Eryn’s Instagram: eryneddy
Verses Mentioned:
About the Guest(s)
Cassandra Speer and Brittany Maher
Brittany Maher is compelled by love to empower women to simplify their identity based on one thing alone: Jesus. She is the founder of Her True Worth, a large and growing online community designed to liberate an entire generation of faith-filled women with the freedom found in discovering their true worth in Christ. She and her husband, Ryan, invest most of their time in equipping and empowering God’s people for digital evangelism across the globe. Brittany is planted in Michigan with her husband, Ryan, and their daughter, Ariana.
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One Response
I am so grateful that God gave me discernment not to listen to the enemy, whose main purpose was to "sift me as wheat". Our identity, as you so elegantly stated, Cassandra, is found in Jesus Christ. "It’s not who I am. It’s whose I am". Thank God that our value is found in God, not people.